Not just that, but if i

Cared so much about david smith, i wldnt have had the lil in and out with Pen, lied 2 him, and then put it in my blog that he cld read! So why am i so upset? We werent 2gether, n he TOLD me 2 see other people!

I get it now!

If a guy says that he is just generally unemotional, then he is just NOT that in2 u. A guy that was, wld be passionate upon meeting u!

I miss it..

The feeling of happiness. I just want to feel fulfilled.. I'm tired, so very tired of feeling empty.. like this is all just bullshit.. I like my new roomy though! she is awesome! I have been thinking alot about david though.. I mean, it kinda hard to stop thinking about someone that you fancied yourself in love with.. I haven't had 1 day so far where I don't think about him for less than an hour. He is just not that in to me, and I get it.. truth be told, I don't really think that I'm that in to him either.. I'm just getting old and the lonliness is starting to wear me down.. I mean, he was comfortable, and I had known him longer than any other guy that I was seeing.. So no, I don't think I was/ am in love with him. I think I was just scared of moving to Tucson by myself, and needed/ wanted a crutch.. someone to talk to on a regular basis. someone to tell me that I was making a smart choice, someone to have phone sex with while out here.. however, I don't know why I thought that he would be able to foot that bill.. David is most likely a horrible loser who NEVER deserved any of my time, or effort, or attention.. But he got lucky.. Everyone needs to get lucky at least once in thier lives.. I will get over him.. I mmean it only hurts when I try to sleep, or try to masturbate, or eat pizza.. sooo.. I think I should be able to get over him pretty simply.. I even was able to get myself off this morning.. do you know how long its been since I masturbated and was able to get off? A very LONG time!! I kept thinking about David, and Pen and Brian and all those guys that could so-called "get me off" and I realized, NOPE! I mean I miss David kinda the way I missed Casey.. I missed my friend.. we could talk about anything, now, he is just angry and bitter. I mean, more so than usual. I think David has wonderful potential, But he is not the type that wants to actually do something with it. I SAW his trailer for BB3.. It was fucking horrible!!! I haven't been that bored since I watched the news!.. LAME!!!! I mean, I want to tell him that its a horrible trailer, but he would take it the wrong way, meaning that I am no sk8 conosure and have no clue what I'm talking about.. but it was really bad!! I KNOW he can do better! I've SEEN him do better. So, I say nothing.. Its hard enough just getting him to text me back! He says he is sick, but I disagree.. I think he knows that his video is going to BOMB, and instead of doing something about it( like asking for help) he is just going to let it.. I don't know whats worse, him allowing it to happen, or the fact that its going to happen... I don't even think he realizes that I have the power to pull crowds to this showing.. I have the power of CLEAR CHANNEL!! My roomy is all over the radio!! all over it! But nope.. he doesn't want help from some chick he USED to bang. Depression is shitty.. Really shitty.. I realized that Unless all the lights are off and I'm under the covers with my eyes squeezed shut, I can't get off anymore.. I feel old and ugly.. Middle Aged.. Pushing thirty, feeling 16, but looking closer to 40 is not a super swell place to be at.. Maybe thats why David doesn't like me.. I'm no longer attractive.. I mean in his defense, I have let myself go.. notice, the only picts on here are head shots! But really, really really.. Does he need to treat me like I have the Blaque Plague? I guess so.. Anywayz, I should be out in tempe this weekend.. So maybe I will see him around..Maybe..

Without caos...

There wld be no happy accidents.

Suicide is the ultimate

FUCK YOU! To the universe. The ultimate high to say the least. Is that why its a mortal sin? Or is there something we dont know about it that make the ones who acheive it better than the rest? Masters of our own destiny.

There is always something that happens

In a split second that can change the way u think about a person 4ever.

I know what i want in a guy!

He must read trashy romance novels out loud 2 me..But just the trashy parts. But in a serious voice. This means he must know how 2 read and have a great voice.

Even though it was fun,

My b-day lacked a certain something. I think it lacked sex. Not that i was hard pressed 2 find someone, but i was hanging wit Pen and, i dont want 2 do it with him. I want my David!

Birthday hair!

The b-day was ok. Wasnt as hype as last year.. Which means im getting OLD!! Sadness

Is cool. Cause he actually freaks me out

Yesterday @ YCs, he grabbed my arm under the table n threated 2 break it. He wldnt let me go until i asked nicely 2 b let go. It. Was. Awesome. Its 2 bad hes gotta girl, and is pretty bad in bed. Or else hed b damnear perfect. Sadness.

I mean, honestly! I grab his wrists in

A fit of passion, and suddenly im some1 2 be scared of! Its shameless how fuckin girlie he is! Pain is pleasure, but i guess only when u can control it urself. I like the thought of not having control of the pain i recieve. Maybe thats y i think pen

So i have been thinking about how david

Said that he doesnt like me as much as i like him, and that i scare him. But how can he be scared of a lil pain when he gets off on sk8ing and the scrapes that come with it? Wierd huh?

This is my horror-scope!

Dear Danielle,
Here is your couple's love horoscope
for Sunday, February 3:

Are you trying to help your partner navigate a situation, or are you secretly hoping that if you hold out, you'll get your way? If it's the latter, think about it. What you're holding out for might not be that great.



**The crazy part about this, is that I had pretty decent sex with david tonight.. but it was after he got over whatever bug he had up his ass.. and the patriots lost!hahahahahahahahahahahaha!!

Not 2day captn dildo!

Hangin wit my girl.

To anonymous..

1st of all, it sounds like your making excuses for the reasons why YOU decided to live past the expiration date. I have made the executive decision to not. As far as drugs and alcohol go.. in my mind, its what keeps me sane.. at least pot is what keeps me sane.. I could do without alcohol though, that much is true. Hell, I could even do without the close friends.. Technically, I don't really have any friends.. Just associates.. I kind of like it better that way. Mainly cause that way you don't feel obligated to have to help them. As far as the rising and falling of my moods, I'm sure thats just cause I'm manic-depressive.. I've come to realize that I am a little crazy and off my rocker. But I'm ok with that, to me it shows that I am an individual.. one of my biggest fears is that I will get lost in a crowd. As far as your god, beleive what you will.. it is your choice. Some people need to have that thought that there is something greater than out there. I believe that the only thing that is greater, is what we can create with our minds. I don't want to hang on or hang in there.. I want it to be overwith. I want to be done with the retardedness.. I don't wanna be a middle aged whore still out there looking for the one. My tits are already starting to sag! I went from having guys that were actually cute, to guys that have receding hairlines and beergutts..or worse, black guys(eeeeeewwww!!) If I wait any longer, I will actually have to take one of them up on their offers like the dick starved tramp that I would act like anyways.. To be honest with you, I'd rather that not be my fate.

I think I may have found my place!!

So, I was going through CraigsList and I found this add for a roomate.. Now I WAS looking for a place of my own. But the girl is the same age and has the same name as I.. It may work for both of us! check it out!

Reply to: hous-559388856@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-02-01, 8:42AM MST


I am renting a single unfurnished bedroom with it's own bathroom. The house has a pool and an arizona room with grass being put in just outside of it. The back yard is huge with a protected wall and will be great for basking in the sun come spring. There are two empty bedrooms in the house, one that opens on to the AZ room and one that has great light all day but no extra entrance. I'm using one as an office, but you may pick whichever you like.
About me: I am a 26 year old professional who works most of the day and generally does not get in till evening....so you would have the house mostly to yourself. On weekends I'm generally riding my horse so you would be with yourself then too. The house is beautiful with lots of light, tile floors, big kitchen, big screen tv in the living room. I am a respectful, responsible, easy going person and expect you to be the same. If interested please email me a little information about yourself or give me a call.


The furniture in the photos is not current.

Danielle
(415)690-6291




Broadway at Prudence google map yahoo map

* Location: Broadway & Pantano


* unfortunately the pictures don't want to show up, but trust me.. its BEE-A-U-tiful!