Tuesday, October 30, 2007
crazy shit..
Ok.. so I may have over done it this weekend.By a lot.. I spent money on bitches who would never do the same for me.. had a whack ass time, and Now, I don't even have enough to cover my fucking rent!! Booo!! Now i HAVE to stay with the fucking crybaby until I get paid again.. unless I pawn some shit, like my pda or mydvd player, or my ipod.. and I don't wanna do that! I want to keep my shit.. Then all these stupid human emotions swirlling about my head.. I love BB, I don't.. Hes a Loser, Hes the coolest guy ever.. Ya know, shit like that! and now I have to cope with the crybaby and her ugky bf making out in front of me late at night.. I think, I'm just gonna go to the casa today, and clear some shit out, then blow up the air mattress and they can have the fucking bedroom, cause honestly, that shit is fucking disgusting.. It literally makes me nauseous to watch them make out.. and its not as if i follow them around, its like they make a point of being where I'm at and doing that godawful shit.. I was like HONESTLY!! you fucking people see each outher aT work.. WTF!?! I guess some people just can be around each other, like all the fucking time.. But truly.. it is disgusting.. Hell, I think its bad enough that I massage BB's feet when I go over.. Hell, it was bad enough, that I couldn't keep up with him for the 1st time in like a year whilst having sex!! How shitty do I feel about that? I was put on the injured list becausse this weekend, I apparently fell in a drunkin stuptor and hurt my arm.. all this on top of spending waaay too much money on bitches who can't help me out of the stupid situation I'm in.. for the next 2 fuckling weeks.. I thought I was going to be able to purchase a new car.. thats a negative will roger.. I thought I was going to be able to do some other shit.. Like( and I know this is super gay!) But I wanted to get BB some shoes for the whip for xmas/b-day.. I think he totally deserves them, mabye its all the super sex i have been getting, or it could just be that it would be my parting gift to him.. OMG!! I'm supposed to be hanging out with BRIAN this week!! how fantabulous is that shit?!? I'm so excited, all I can think about is what I'm going to wear, and how to keep it from smelling like the crybabies house.. Hell, I smell like the casa now! It smells like old ciggys and cat piss.. ewwwww!!So most defiantely not the best.. I had a crazy dream last night that just put the clencher for me.. I dreamt that clear totally screwed me over by taking me out and getting me fucking waSTED, AND THEN LEAVING ME AT HER HOUSE TO GO HANDLE SOME BUSINESS, i FINALLY GOT BACK TO MY CAR, AND FOR SOME REASON WENT TO WORK.. AND FOUND OUT THAT I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE WORKING THAT DAY.. IT WAS WIERD AND I THINK THAT I WILL TAKE HEED OF THE WARNING THAT IS BEING SCREAMED OUT IN MY HEAD AND MY HEART.. CLEAR IS COOL AND ALL, BUT NO MORE OUTTINGS.. FROM NOW ON, I WILL JUST HAVE TO LET THEM KNOW THAT IN ORDER FOR ME TO RECOUP MY LOSSES FOR THIS PAST WEEKEND, I WILL HAVE TO NOT HANG WITH THEM FOR ABOUT 2 OR 3 MONTHS.. THAT WAY I CAN GET CLEAN( FROM ALL THE POT SMOKAGE) AND GET A SECOND JOB.. SO THAT I CAN JUST BE BUSY AT WORK ALL THE FUCKING TIME.. SO YES.. NO MORE 'HANGING' WITH THE CLEAR CROUD.. MUCH TO EXPENSIVE FOR MY TASTES.. bUT i MISS BB SO VERY MUCH.. right now all I want to do is crawl into bed with him and sleep and fuck and eat the day away.. and thats why i know its time for him to go bye-bye.. I'm getting sucked in..
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
well,well
Now.. How did I NOT see the wealth of bullshit coming? IDK.. Ususally I'm really good at being able to get through this.. or see through more than likely.. I always seem to have that one friend.. that one person whose life is frought with nothing but drama.. if its not one thing than its another.. Maybe I'm a bda friend for not wanting to be drawn into it.. or maybe, I think that its her own stupid ass fault for making stupid choices and decisions.. She tells me that the condom broke, like what? last night, and that she needs to go to the store.. I'm all like, for what? all you can do now is douche.. she says that she doesn't have douche.. I figure, well.. instaed of spending money on a preger test that aint gonna tell you shit this soon, vesus something that potentially can nip it in the bud anywayz.. but i think she just wants to be.. so all I will tell her tonite is that if she is, then get an abortion or have it.. thats the only choices that she has.. If she doesn't want to get rid of it, then she will be set, since supposedly the guy is like set for life from some accident that he had.. her monentary problems will pretty much be over, cause she will have a place to stay with him.. DUH!! but she is young and dumb and apprently full of cum( hahahahaha) and n0w its just all worry and cry.. EVERY TIME I go over to her house, There is always something for her to fucking cry about..ALWAYS!! if you ask me, if she is knocked up, then its not the guy that she has been fucking recently.. its her ex-bf.. IDK if that would make her really stupid for not knowing, or incredibly smart for hiding it and choosing a better person to pass it off to.. Fucking brilliant.. Oh yeah.. had some great el sexeoso with BB last night.. I FINALLY got him to agree to a safe word.. which means that we could actually get really fucking ruff in the sack! Hurrah!! Hurrah!! I love it! I really do! Finally!! It means I may actually get fucked the way I want... IWOULD LIKE TO COME INTO WORK THE NEXT DAY LOOKING LIKE i GOT INTO A FIGHT@!! How SICK would that be? OMG!! Clear would be sooooo jealous.. like 'what happend to you?" oh nothing..just had some fantastic sex last nigt! "well whats with the black eyes and the swollen jaw?" I told you.. Freaking AWESOME sex last night! RAPE!!! How super is that.. so after hanging out last night, all I felt like doing was cuddling( GAAAAAAAAGGG!!) and then It was insunuated that I could saty the night.. But I declined that offer.. It was insinuated that I wouldn't even have to meet mom, cause we would be in bed before she got home, and leave before she would even think about waking up.. then, I could have slept in the bed with him and snuggled and ...OMG!! EWWWWWWWW how disgusting do I sound right now.. Now.. I can't believe that i felt that way, but at that time, thats all I wanted to do.. I realize that i have to stop seeing this guy immediately, or else I'm gonna turn into one of those horrible girls who has a boyfriend and crys over stupid shit, and wants to do more than just have sex with him.. which we have all learned when you try to do more than just have sex with them, shit gets complicated.. I love that at this point and time, I have pretty much nothing to worry about except for making sure i get it on a regular basis.. other than tha.. I s=could seriously give a fuck.. I'm even thinking about aquireing another guy to have sex with, JUST so I DONT get to attatched.. I can't help but to like the guy.. hes.. hes.. just so goddamn sexy to me! I don't know why, but thats how I feel.. I can't seem to keep my clothes on when around him. .hell i can't seem to keep my hands off his cock when we are together.. that last 2 times he has fucked me into exhaustion.. I mean, I don't actually get any sleep until i see him, and then, BOOOM!! after we are dun, I just want to lay in bed with him and fall the fuck asleep.. Yes and some times I want to snuggle, but thank Natas.. its usually way to fucking hot for that shit.. Well... I guess its a good thing that he DOESN"T read my blogs, cause all it would do is make is already gynormous head even bigger!! I guess I can be nice to him and tell him that I do really like him and shit.. but that would complicate things.. and All I want is to have fun.. Plus, keeping him at arms lenght is best for the both of us... cause, I've only got like 3yrs left to live..
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
another horror-scope!
Not everything can be black and white. Would you even want the situation to be so clear cut? Learning to be comfortable in the gray areas is what a relationship is all about. Breathe through this.
Your Horoscope
PISCES
February 19-March 20
Daily Extended: October 23, 2007
Today your focus should turn toward examining how you react to things that are beyond your control. A lot of unpredictable energy is swarming around you right now, sending confusing signals to the people you love. Something may happen that you can't influence -- instead of feeling powerless or frustrated, take advantage of the situation and steer it in a direction that's better for you and your people. You do have some power in this situation -- use it.
Your Horoscope
PISCES
February 19-March 20
Daily Extended: October 23, 2007
Today your focus should turn toward examining how you react to things that are beyond your control. A lot of unpredictable energy is swarming around you right now, sending confusing signals to the people you love. Something may happen that you can't influence -- instead of feeling powerless or frustrated, take advantage of the situation and steer it in a direction that's better for you and your people. You do have some power in this situation -- use it.
Saturday, October 20, 2007
can you believe this shit?!?
Your Horoscope
PISCES
February 19-March 20
Daily Extended: October 20, 2007
If you think you can fake your way through an intimidating situation today, think again! You cannot bluff your way to the top right now, so don't even try. It's wisest if you just admit to any anxieties or insecurities you might have right up front, today. If you let everyone involved know that you're feeling like a fish out of water, they'll respect you for it. A key mark of your intellect is that you know when you don't know something -- and you're ready to admit it
But yet and still I am constantly told that I am seriously cocky and that if shit doesn't go my way, then its going my way.. I have been told that one of my flaws is that I don't know when to give up! But that one of my strenghts is that I don't know when to give up.. I guess we will see how this all turns out! Now, I want sex this weekend.. but am I going to get it? probably not.. but, I guess beggars can't be chosers.. plus I'm supposed to have a date with the big man on sunday.. we will se how that goes..
PISCES
February 19-March 20
Daily Extended: October 20, 2007
If you think you can fake your way through an intimidating situation today, think again! You cannot bluff your way to the top right now, so don't even try. It's wisest if you just admit to any anxieties or insecurities you might have right up front, today. If you let everyone involved know that you're feeling like a fish out of water, they'll respect you for it. A key mark of your intellect is that you know when you don't know something -- and you're ready to admit it
But yet and still I am constantly told that I am seriously cocky and that if shit doesn't go my way, then its going my way.. I have been told that one of my flaws is that I don't know when to give up! But that one of my strenghts is that I don't know when to give up.. I guess we will see how this all turns out! Now, I want sex this weekend.. but am I going to get it? probably not.. but, I guess beggars can't be chosers.. plus I'm supposed to have a date with the big man on sunday.. we will se how that goes..
Friday, October 19, 2007
Satisfaction, Frustration, all everything in between!
So.. I had Like the BEST time with BB lastnight.. So Hot, So sexxxxy.. So very much better than of late.. Had I known that all it took for him to give me great sex was a sugarfree redbull and a $5 pizza from little ceasers, I would have done this crap a looooooooooooooong time ago.. It was Awesome just to 'hang' with him agian anyways.. and I was nice and actually told him! I think That may have swelled his head just a little though.. But I t was! I MISSED JUST BEING CHILL WITH HIM, INSTEAD OF HAVING BAD SEX AND ARGUING OVER STUPID SH*T.. OH YES I WILL TALK IT, AND I PUSH, PUSH, PUSH, TO TRY TO GET SOME SORT OF REACTION OUT OF HIM.. YA KNOW, JUST CAUSE I LOVE TO SEE HIM ALL PISSED OFF AND WHATEVER.. WHY? CAUSE IT MAKES THE sex soooooooo very much better.. so I thought.. Now I know that pizza and red bull is the way to go!I guess after now, i will just have to keep that sh*t in my car!! OMG!! It was absolutely Fantastic!! Watch.. Now he is going to never call me and/or ignore me and I will have to next him.. NEXT!! I mean, that will happen eventually ayways, if nothing else for the simple fact than he wants to breed at somepoint.. ewwwww! So I told him that I was pretty much just grroming him for his future GF( which we all know will turn out to be his long time H.S. friend).. But I also told him that he is to immature to have a GF at this time in his life.. since all he wants to do is skate.. not many girls are down for being put on the back burner for something like that.. especially when he isn't really making any money off of it.. But that is what I pretty much told him.. IDK.. I told him that if a girl is looking to be with a guy, it won'tbe about how much money he makes or what kind of car that he drives.. it will be about how well he can see her true self.. ok maybe I didn't tell him all that, but I should have.. I just didn't want him to take it the wrong way and think I was trying to 'hook-up' with him in that way.. But I did realize last night, that I am missing an earring.. it never fails!! I just cannot wear earrings and have sex with him.. I ALWAYS lose one.. I just hope it doesn't turn up on his couch and his mom finds it and is all like "whats this?" that would be uncomfortable.. But The SEX!! It was fabulous.. I've got this picture of us, and the way he looked in the picture, just reminds me of what we did immediately after taking it.. So f*ing sexxy! I swear to nataS! If he hadn't been a dick to me that one time, then I would be more than happy to traverse down the happy hardcore road of monagamy with him.. But after the surepstious convo last night, I realize that no matter how f*ing AWESOME the sex is, it just wouldn't go anywhere with us.. OMG!! He is such a little hottie to me! I don't even understand why! When I'm around him, I can't seem to keep my hands off him.. I just want to touch, to feel, to taste, to be a dirty little slut with him.. Much dirtier than I do believe he could ever f*ing imagine.. I figure that if he thinks that this is the culmination of my kinkiness, he has alot to learn about me.. It was wierd, he wasn't overly ruff with me last nioght( like i would have wanted him to be) But it was just so deliciously sexy, to be just 'sorta' nuaghty.. I think that the whole thing about him living with mom kinda turns me on too.. Wierd and a little Lame I know, But it was like being in H.S. and coming home after school to have sex before the parents got home.. I guess I like it so much cause I never really got a chance to be in the situation.. so I think thats why it doesn't bother me over much.. I mean.. I just know that I gotta be more careful with this guy.. Cause he is an incredibly astute student.. or for those of you who don't do vocabulary words, a qick and thourough learner.. I just keep looking at the pictures going Ahhhhh.. How cute are we.. and then I have to shake myself and remember that he acted a damn fool once with me, and I refuse to be put in that position EVER again.. Okies people, no mas WRITTING NOW.. GOTS OTHER STUFF TO DO..
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
How I really feel..
I do not care about what car you drive, or where you live. Or even If you know someone who knows someone who knows someone. If your clothes are this years cutting edge. If your trust fund is unlimited. if you are A-list, B-list, or never heard of you list. I only care about the words that flutter from your mind.They are the only thing you truly own. the only thing I will truly remember you by. I will not fall in love with your bones and skin. I will not fall in love with the places you have been. I will not fall in love with any thing but the words that flutter from you extraordinary mind..
That shit is deep isn't it? God.. sometimes.. Its just ah-ma-zing what our minds can come up with..
But moving on to pertinent stuff. My presence has been request para manana for some el sexeoso! Hurrah! I'm gonna get Laid!! In an actual bed! Hopefully we make it that far into the humble abode!HEHEHE! But now I'm all extra excited about getting some booty.. but not so much about having to shave n shit.. Booooooo! But the things you do for good ass.. just everyone mainate on that.. Think of all the stupid and or retarded shit that you have done( or even are willing to do) just for a great lay.. I was talking to my girl clear tonight cause we were hanging out being MySpace whores and we got to talking about our ultimate fantasies.. Hers, Very cut and dried.. she has the whole rape fantasy.. Mine.. A bit more complex than that.. It starts by watching '2girls 1cup!' video, and ends with me having enough game to get 2 very heterosexual guys to do some seriously kinky shit.. and not just with me, but with each other..OMG!! Its so hot.. Maybe I will tell you crazy people who read my LAME blogs all aboot it one day.. But I said Goddamm!! Its enough to make me want to hang around in this world until i'm able to achieve that particular goal of making that happen! But then again.. it may not have any business being anywhere but inside my head.. For my own personal viewing pleasure! but its always the same 2 guys.. Always.. I Don't know what it is about me and having these 2 particular guys together.. But when I dream of one, the other inevitably shows up.. Maybe I think that if I could put the 2 of them together they would make the perfect guy for me.. Maybe I'm lying to myself right now and I am just a kinky Bitch who just wants to rule these mutha fuckas with an iron fist..Or... It could just be the eyes.. I'm thinking that its a bit of all.. So, Now I've got to go shave and shit in preparation to getting 'Banged out' by BB tomorrow.. directly(post haste) after work.. I wonder if I should just be a big slut and where a dress tomorrow.. hmmm.. maybe I should bring rope too! ummmm I think that that would be a little much for him, he would probably think i'd be trying to screw him over again instead of thinking that I was just being my normal kinky,dirty,slutty self.. I wanna be tied up!! OMG!! that sounds like a blast! So folks and folkettes, I will holl atcha tomorrow! This means i'm going to be thinking about having Sex with him ALLLLLLLLLLL Day.. I mean not really all that different from any other time, but at least I KNOW I'm gonna get it come the end of the day, instead of just going home to think about it some more! Hurrah for SEX!! I'm out!
That shit is deep isn't it? God.. sometimes.. Its just ah-ma-zing what our minds can come up with..
But moving on to pertinent stuff. My presence has been request para manana for some el sexeoso! Hurrah! I'm gonna get Laid!! In an actual bed! Hopefully we make it that far into the humble abode!HEHEHE! But now I'm all extra excited about getting some booty.. but not so much about having to shave n shit.. Booooooo! But the things you do for good ass.. just everyone mainate on that.. Think of all the stupid and or retarded shit that you have done( or even are willing to do) just for a great lay.. I was talking to my girl clear tonight cause we were hanging out being MySpace whores and we got to talking about our ultimate fantasies.. Hers, Very cut and dried.. she has the whole rape fantasy.. Mine.. A bit more complex than that.. It starts by watching '2girls 1cup!' video, and ends with me having enough game to get 2 very heterosexual guys to do some seriously kinky shit.. and not just with me, but with each other..OMG!! Its so hot.. Maybe I will tell you crazy people who read my LAME blogs all aboot it one day.. But I said Goddamm!! Its enough to make me want to hang around in this world until i'm able to achieve that particular goal of making that happen! But then again.. it may not have any business being anywhere but inside my head.. For my own personal viewing pleasure! but its always the same 2 guys.. Always.. I Don't know what it is about me and having these 2 particular guys together.. But when I dream of one, the other inevitably shows up.. Maybe I think that if I could put the 2 of them together they would make the perfect guy for me.. Maybe I'm lying to myself right now and I am just a kinky Bitch who just wants to rule these mutha fuckas with an iron fist..Or... It could just be the eyes.. I'm thinking that its a bit of all.. So, Now I've got to go shave and shit in preparation to getting 'Banged out' by BB tomorrow.. directly(post haste) after work.. I wonder if I should just be a big slut and where a dress tomorrow.. hmmm.. maybe I should bring rope too! ummmm I think that that would be a little much for him, he would probably think i'd be trying to screw him over again instead of thinking that I was just being my normal kinky,dirty,slutty self.. I wanna be tied up!! OMG!! that sounds like a blast! So folks and folkettes, I will holl atcha tomorrow! This means i'm going to be thinking about having Sex with him ALLLLLLLLLLL Day.. I mean not really all that different from any other time, but at least I KNOW I'm gonna get it come the end of the day, instead of just going home to think about it some more! Hurrah for SEX!! I'm out!
the horror-scope!
Your Horoscope
PISCES
February 19-March 20
Daily Extended: October 17, 2007
The problem with being too philosophical is that it can be easy to get caught up in your own thoughts. Think too much about people's motivations and societal complications right now, and you will get overwhelmed by the sheer scope of things. Instead, turn your philosophical scope down to a pinpoint of light, and let it illuminate your personal life. For now, just focus on the people in your life and what they're thinking about. That will make you feel like you can make a difference.
all I can say about this is oooooooookaay.. so I haven't written a post in a while cause, well I havent had much to really write aboot.. Ok thats a total fabrication and we all know it.. I think that its cause I have sooo much to say aaalll of the time..I realized that i can literally talk from the time i wake up, and on into the night.. with the occasional smoke, food, and drink break.. I would say potty break, but I LIKE having some one to talk to even when I'm on the toilet.. Especially when I'm going #2.. I don't even know WHY I talk so much.. Does anyone have an idea? Cause I would really like to know.. Maybe I should stop smoking so that I can continue to do so with out sounding like a DUDE.. But ok yesterday was alright.. like i worked and it was a pretty productive day at work, and then I went to the crybabies house to hang with her since the J-O-B is nolonger on and crackin.. so.. we hung out and drank sangria and mudslides and then jb hung out too! we did a little shopping, and this chik is bit*hing about not being able to make rent and then goes out an purchases another fu*king sweater that she doesn't need cause she has like 3 others that look exactly like it instead of just sticking with the pants that she needs to purchase for her new job.. I could see if she did this with say an item costing oh 5 to 6 dollars, but this sweater would have put enough gas in her car for a week or have made a sigificant difference in paying her rent.. ok i may be exaggerating, the sweater was like $12.99 and she bout pants for like $9.99 and then some random chonies for like $2 a piece..She was able to get this cause she had credit for returning some items at the store we were at.. But when she went to pay, she didn't have as much in credit as she thought she did, and ended up spending like $30.. I didn't have money to spend, but I bought a shirt for work for like $7 and a pair of man chonies to sleep in.. and I don't mean boxers.. hehehe.. for like $2.00.. oh-yes.. and I bought some much needed earings for myself, ya know, so I can look like a girl.. Now I understand this whole thing of her saying that after all she has gone through, she needed to splurge a little and do something to make herself happy.. I do understand and realize that shop therapy is one of the was for stressed out divas to releive that stress.. However.. I would NOT waste money on a sweater in which I already have several that look like it, over paying my rent!!! I would blow rent money on shoes..YES ON SHOES>> But i will be damned if it would be something else!! I wouldn't even buy alcohol or smokes.. I would just have to do with out.. But I can never do without shoes!! and the crazy part about it is that I found a pair that I really liked, but I just wasn't in the mood to have them.. Hmmmm.. ok maybe I didn't like them THAT much.. I mean it would take a pretty Snazzy pair of shoes to make me spend rent or gas money on them.. actually I was trying to look for those old skool socks that have the 3stripes on the top.. but i swear the only thing close to those that I can find, are the soccer socks.. and those are like $10/ pair!! No sirrah.. I will not be getting those.. I wish somebody could find where those socks are at and just get them for me! cause DAMMIT I want at least 1 pair.. I want them to be either black or red.. or blue.. or ooohhh!! even yellow!! OMG!! I would love to have some PURPLE oNES!! but since it is so very hard to find those stupid fucking socks, I'm sure purple is out of the question.. soooo holloween is coming up.. my most favorite holiday!! You know what I want to do.. I want to go to the fair and see alice cooper, I want to have sex at the fair while alice cooper is playing.. I want to do it in an extremley public place, and then, I want to go to an Indian burial ground and do it on a fresh dug grave at like 2 in the morning.. ahhhh!! OMG!! that sounds like so much fun! Either that or go to a haunted house and get lost and end up fooling around somewhere inside.. U-G-H!! That sounds like heaven.. ok I lied heaven would be finding some 'X' and then going to do all of this rolling my ass off!! So fucking fun!!! But alas.. I have nobody to do such wonderfully evil and derelect things with.. I want to get all dreesed up like a nun, but have nothing on underneath.. i think that would be super HOT!! But it probably wont happen.. Que Lastimo!!! So I figured that this weekend I will probably just hang around my house and redo my hair.. well some of my hair, Hopefully, I will be getting some ass if not within this week, then most defiantely this weekend.. plus, I have ot going on at work on saturday, and i have to be at work at 6am.. bright and shiny and with a smiley happy face on, so apparently, no late night on friday either.. BOOOOOOO!! But its probably for the best.. ot is always a good thing.. this way, the check I'm going to have to get my new car with will be substantial.. hopefully I can get waaaaaaay more hours that I got the last time I did ot.. like at least 4more, but i don't think that they will have 12hrs of work for me to do..But it would be nice.. I think that I should get some ass this evening, but I know its not going to happen.. my phone just died and DADDY had just told me that he was sending me some sexy picts of his sexy ass.. Oh B-O-Y!! Now, I have to wait until I get home and charge my phone to see them, if I am able to recieve them at all! BOOOOOOO!! I cant even call that one guy to ask him for sex immediately after work today.. that makes me super sad in my happiest place.. which makes it not my happiest place at all anymore.. SEX!! SEx!! SEX!! SEX!! SEX!! Thats what I want.. the dirty kind that you have when you go all slutfest on folks and leave them breathless and gagging for more.. ya know.. not your everday run of the mill, ass smackina and face slapping.. but ruff, nail gouges and bite marks that draw blood, pulling out clumps of hair and being so loud, that Natas himself stops to take a gander at whats going on.. I want to howl in pain and in pleasure at a touch, I want to be made to beg for more, I want to be used, no questions, just fucked so hard, that my pussy bleeds! I want my asshole to be ravaged and i want to be washing the cum out of my hair for weeks afterward! OMG!! I'm getting myself all super hot and bothered by just thinking about the carnage.. I want it so ruff, that when we are done, and we look at each other, we see blood splattered all over both our faces.. OMG!! I just want to be raped! this is torture! Not having available acess to someone who can just let go and do it the way I need it done.. BOOOOOOO!! Fuck this.. I'm only gonna make myself upset and angry if i keep thinking about it.. I gotta talk to my sensei.. I haven't heard from him since this weekend.. I want to go to a rave and hang out.. I want a massage, I want... I want.. I want... By NataS's right thumb! I want it all!!
PISCES
February 19-March 20
Daily Extended: October 17, 2007
The problem with being too philosophical is that it can be easy to get caught up in your own thoughts. Think too much about people's motivations and societal complications right now, and you will get overwhelmed by the sheer scope of things. Instead, turn your philosophical scope down to a pinpoint of light, and let it illuminate your personal life. For now, just focus on the people in your life and what they're thinking about. That will make you feel like you can make a difference.
all I can say about this is oooooooookaay.. so I haven't written a post in a while cause, well I havent had much to really write aboot.. Ok thats a total fabrication and we all know it.. I think that its cause I have sooo much to say aaalll of the time..I realized that i can literally talk from the time i wake up, and on into the night.. with the occasional smoke, food, and drink break.. I would say potty break, but I LIKE having some one to talk to even when I'm on the toilet.. Especially when I'm going #2.. I don't even know WHY I talk so much.. Does anyone have an idea? Cause I would really like to know.. Maybe I should stop smoking so that I can continue to do so with out sounding like a DUDE.. But ok yesterday was alright.. like i worked and it was a pretty productive day at work, and then I went to the crybabies house to hang with her since the J-O-B is nolonger on and crackin.. so.. we hung out and drank sangria and mudslides and then jb hung out too! we did a little shopping, and this chik is bit*hing about not being able to make rent and then goes out an purchases another fu*king sweater that she doesn't need cause she has like 3 others that look exactly like it instead of just sticking with the pants that she needs to purchase for her new job.. I could see if she did this with say an item costing oh 5 to 6 dollars, but this sweater would have put enough gas in her car for a week or have made a sigificant difference in paying her rent.. ok i may be exaggerating, the sweater was like $12.99 and she bout pants for like $9.99 and then some random chonies for like $2 a piece..She was able to get this cause she had credit for returning some items at the store we were at.. But when she went to pay, she didn't have as much in credit as she thought she did, and ended up spending like $30.. I didn't have money to spend, but I bought a shirt for work for like $7 and a pair of man chonies to sleep in.. and I don't mean boxers.. hehehe.. for like $2.00.. oh-yes.. and I bought some much needed earings for myself, ya know, so I can look like a girl.. Now I understand this whole thing of her saying that after all she has gone through, she needed to splurge a little and do something to make herself happy.. I do understand and realize that shop therapy is one of the was for stressed out divas to releive that stress.. However.. I would NOT waste money on a sweater in which I already have several that look like it, over paying my rent!!! I would blow rent money on shoes..YES ON SHOES>> But i will be damned if it would be something else!! I wouldn't even buy alcohol or smokes.. I would just have to do with out.. But I can never do without shoes!! and the crazy part about it is that I found a pair that I really liked, but I just wasn't in the mood to have them.. Hmmmm.. ok maybe I didn't like them THAT much.. I mean it would take a pretty Snazzy pair of shoes to make me spend rent or gas money on them.. actually I was trying to look for those old skool socks that have the 3stripes on the top.. but i swear the only thing close to those that I can find, are the soccer socks.. and those are like $10/ pair!! No sirrah.. I will not be getting those.. I wish somebody could find where those socks are at and just get them for me! cause DAMMIT I want at least 1 pair.. I want them to be either black or red.. or blue.. or ooohhh!! even yellow!! OMG!! I would love to have some PURPLE oNES!! but since it is so very hard to find those stupid fucking socks, I'm sure purple is out of the question.. soooo holloween is coming up.. my most favorite holiday!! You know what I want to do.. I want to go to the fair and see alice cooper, I want to have sex at the fair while alice cooper is playing.. I want to do it in an extremley public place, and then, I want to go to an Indian burial ground and do it on a fresh dug grave at like 2 in the morning.. ahhhh!! OMG!! that sounds like so much fun! Either that or go to a haunted house and get lost and end up fooling around somewhere inside.. U-G-H!! That sounds like heaven.. ok I lied heaven would be finding some 'X' and then going to do all of this rolling my ass off!! So fucking fun!!! But alas.. I have nobody to do such wonderfully evil and derelect things with.. I want to get all dreesed up like a nun, but have nothing on underneath.. i think that would be super HOT!! But it probably wont happen.. Que Lastimo!!! So I figured that this weekend I will probably just hang around my house and redo my hair.. well some of my hair, Hopefully, I will be getting some ass if not within this week, then most defiantely this weekend.. plus, I have ot going on at work on saturday, and i have to be at work at 6am.. bright and shiny and with a smiley happy face on, so apparently, no late night on friday either.. BOOOOOOO!! But its probably for the best.. ot is always a good thing.. this way, the check I'm going to have to get my new car with will be substantial.. hopefully I can get waaaaaaay more hours that I got the last time I did ot.. like at least 4more, but i don't think that they will have 12hrs of work for me to do..But it would be nice.. I think that I should get some ass this evening, but I know its not going to happen.. my phone just died and DADDY had just told me that he was sending me some sexy picts of his sexy ass.. Oh B-O-Y!! Now, I have to wait until I get home and charge my phone to see them, if I am able to recieve them at all! BOOOOOOO!! I cant even call that one guy to ask him for sex immediately after work today.. that makes me super sad in my happiest place.. which makes it not my happiest place at all anymore.. SEX!! SEx!! SEX!! SEX!! SEX!! Thats what I want.. the dirty kind that you have when you go all slutfest on folks and leave them breathless and gagging for more.. ya know.. not your everday run of the mill, ass smackina and face slapping.. but ruff, nail gouges and bite marks that draw blood, pulling out clumps of hair and being so loud, that Natas himself stops to take a gander at whats going on.. I want to howl in pain and in pleasure at a touch, I want to be made to beg for more, I want to be used, no questions, just fucked so hard, that my pussy bleeds! I want my asshole to be ravaged and i want to be washing the cum out of my hair for weeks afterward! OMG!! I'm getting myself all super hot and bothered by just thinking about the carnage.. I want it so ruff, that when we are done, and we look at each other, we see blood splattered all over both our faces.. OMG!! I just want to be raped! this is torture! Not having available acess to someone who can just let go and do it the way I need it done.. BOOOOOOO!! Fuck this.. I'm only gonna make myself upset and angry if i keep thinking about it.. I gotta talk to my sensei.. I haven't heard from him since this weekend.. I want to go to a rave and hang out.. I want a massage, I want... I want.. I want... By NataS's right thumb! I want it all!!
Monday, October 15, 2007
What a beautiful weekend!!!
Yes Folks! It was beautiful!! I got my license and insurance for tha whip! got my phn back on and hung out with my sensei.. hung out with the clear girl, and did some dirt! Usually, i keep my life as an open book.. but as of now, i have a dirty little secret.. and I'm not telling.. ok so i am totally telling.. but in a way.. in other words, *names* may be changed to protect the crybabies!
Ok.. so friday night, I was supposed to hang with the *clear* girl.. I was feeling good, cause I was all legal and stuff and wanted to go out and do something.. well I called my sensei and he wasn't up to nuthing, so i figured that I would hang out with him until the Clear girl was ready to meet up.. Well, then *BB* was msging me online saying that he wanted to hang out.. and all I could think of was BINGO! Now BB is a guy who pretty much ripped my heart out and stomped on it at one point, and as that I am a Vindictive B*tch, I HAD to get him back! So I asked.. Do you want to meet somewhere, or did you want to come out to my house.. He said that he wanted to drive from wherever he was out to my house.. so I was like..EVEN BETTER!Now dont get me wrong folks.. I love love LOVE sex! but one thing thats better than sex? REVENGE!! It is so much sweeter.. plus, as all of my friends said (and even what he said), he should have seen it coming.. so, i made him drive allllllllllll the way out to my house( actually, as I said, he CHOSE to drive out there) and then I was planning on not being there and being all like SUcKA!! But he showed up before I had left.. no prob.. i just told him that I would follow him to the place of his choosing to go fool around at.. well first i ask if he was hungry, cause i was starving, he said no, so I was like, where do you want to do this at.. He (as usual) sd that he didn't know..( I loathe indecisiveness in guys.. it shows weakness)so thats when i told him i would just follow him, cause i had shit to do after and i was sure it wasn't going to take long.. So I followed him out and for a moment, i thought.. this is wrong! i shouldn't do this, I ACTUALLY LIKE THIS GUY.. and then i heard those awful words that he had said to me when i thought everything was everything between us, and was like this bastard totally deserves it! so, he went through the light at the freeway, I went left and got on the freeway and was OUT! went to my sensei's house and chilled out with him.. we went and ate and stuff, all the while.. BB was texting me and calling me.. all i could say to him was.. it sucks doesnt it.. then he was like what? I said, being shafted.. he got all mad and sad and then got drunk and called me alternately yelling, and whining about what had happend.. it was incredibly entertaining.. he told me that if he saw me at that point in time, he would kill me.. not just kill me, but kill-fu*k me.. now i have now idea what that is, but I was hoping that it meant some kind of incredible se* act.. he kept repeating that he wanted to see me in person and if we could go and have breakfast later on that morning( remember it was like 3am)i told him that i wasn't coming out to wherever he waS and i was busy the whole day.. then came the whining.. finally i told him that i was going to be awake in a couple hours, and that if he wanted to go eat, he would have to answer his phone when i called.. i called after i had woken up( like 3hrs later) and no answer.. so being the 'nice' person that i am, i called agian and he aswered.. we decided to meet at dennys and eat.. we did and we talked and ate and smoked and then, he grebbed me by my hair and told me to get in his car..( so fuc*ing HOT!) i had to play the R-U-Serious card( gotta be a good girl) and he told me yes.. he was serious.. got i luv it when a man takes charge! we did and he drove behind a building somewhere and then we fuc*ed in his car in broad daylight.. it wasn't the best, and it felt kinda funny doing that, but whateve! It was hot and it was much needed! Was far from the best, and closer to the worst, but as i said, much needed.. Then we left and went to do our respective things, and there was no contact.. I didn't think that there was going to be much more contact after that cause we just kinda smoked and then drifted back to our respective cars.. no goodbye or anything.. but surprise, surprise, lo and be hold sunday early evening, i get a text that asks me if i would like to go play pool.. of course i said yes.. pool is super fun and relaxing.. he said meet me in an hour, i said meet him in 2.. then i said i would just call him when i got hm.. he said ok.. i was out trolling for booty with clear, so, i wasn't really in a super big hurry to get home.. but since it was sunday, and she likes cho-lows, we couldn't find anything.. so we called it a night and she dropped me off.. i called him and asked if he wanted to come out to my house or if he just wanted to meet up.. he said meet up(smart boy!)so we did(he also asked if i was just going to stand him up, and i told him that as far as i see, we were even)we played pool, and he whooped up on me once or twice.. but only cause i was not on my a-game..and finally i won by default.. i decided to cut my losses and we headed out to the parkinglot, cause i got some new music, and wanted him to hear it.. so we listened and then he started fooling around with me.. of course we had to take it elsewhere,so we found a good place aNd got it on!! Basically I have finally deviginiezed my car! it was hot, it was sexy and boy was it good.. Soo.. i told him that he will just have to be my dirty little secret from NOW ON, CAUSE IT MAKES ME LOOK BAD TO continue to fool around with someone that acted thusly toward me.. he rolled his eyes a little and made such a disbelieveing noise.. but its true! I always say never go back.. but IDK, I need regular booty.. So now i'm at work, tired and worn out, trying to hide the bite marks on my ARMS! don't get me wrong, i love the ruffness, but OMG!! I did NOT want to get out of bed this morning!! I can't seem to wake up and i'm in such a fog! But i can't help but to keep a smile on my face! I'm guessing its cause i finally got some booty!! Hopefully, now I won't lose my job cause i'm getting it on a regular basis.. But I told him, I swear on Natass' pinky toe, that if he ever fu*ks me over like that again, i would kill him.. no really, I would seriously get him caught up in some crazy bull sh*t and then, have his scrawny a*S KILLED.. I'd like to watch to.. but now, i'm just getting a little to caught up in this.. as I told him.. i may LOOOOOOOOOOVE sex, but NOTHING is as sweet as REVENGE!! But for now, we will just enjoy the company of each other, it makes me happy cause now I'm ready to go party and hang and stuff, and I can totally troll for more booty.. So excited! I like em, but Once bitten, twice shy..
Ok.. so friday night, I was supposed to hang with the *clear* girl.. I was feeling good, cause I was all legal and stuff and wanted to go out and do something.. well I called my sensei and he wasn't up to nuthing, so i figured that I would hang out with him until the Clear girl was ready to meet up.. Well, then *BB* was msging me online saying that he wanted to hang out.. and all I could think of was BINGO! Now BB is a guy who pretty much ripped my heart out and stomped on it at one point, and as that I am a Vindictive B*tch, I HAD to get him back! So I asked.. Do you want to meet somewhere, or did you want to come out to my house.. He said that he wanted to drive from wherever he was out to my house.. so I was like..EVEN BETTER!Now dont get me wrong folks.. I love love LOVE sex! but one thing thats better than sex? REVENGE!! It is so much sweeter.. plus, as all of my friends said (and even what he said), he should have seen it coming.. so, i made him drive allllllllllll the way out to my house( actually, as I said, he CHOSE to drive out there) and then I was planning on not being there and being all like SUcKA!! But he showed up before I had left.. no prob.. i just told him that I would follow him to the place of his choosing to go fool around at.. well first i ask if he was hungry, cause i was starving, he said no, so I was like, where do you want to do this at.. He (as usual) sd that he didn't know..( I loathe indecisiveness in guys.. it shows weakness)so thats when i told him i would just follow him, cause i had shit to do after and i was sure it wasn't going to take long.. So I followed him out and for a moment, i thought.. this is wrong! i shouldn't do this, I ACTUALLY LIKE THIS GUY.. and then i heard those awful words that he had said to me when i thought everything was everything between us, and was like this bastard totally deserves it! so, he went through the light at the freeway, I went left and got on the freeway and was OUT! went to my sensei's house and chilled out with him.. we went and ate and stuff, all the while.. BB was texting me and calling me.. all i could say to him was.. it sucks doesnt it.. then he was like what? I said, being shafted.. he got all mad and sad and then got drunk and called me alternately yelling, and whining about what had happend.. it was incredibly entertaining.. he told me that if he saw me at that point in time, he would kill me.. not just kill me, but kill-fu*k me.. now i have now idea what that is, but I was hoping that it meant some kind of incredible se* act.. he kept repeating that he wanted to see me in person and if we could go and have breakfast later on that morning( remember it was like 3am)i told him that i wasn't coming out to wherever he waS and i was busy the whole day.. then came the whining.. finally i told him that i was going to be awake in a couple hours, and that if he wanted to go eat, he would have to answer his phone when i called.. i called after i had woken up( like 3hrs later) and no answer.. so being the 'nice' person that i am, i called agian and he aswered.. we decided to meet at dennys and eat.. we did and we talked and ate and smoked and then, he grebbed me by my hair and told me to get in his car..( so fuc*ing HOT!) i had to play the R-U-Serious card( gotta be a good girl) and he told me yes.. he was serious.. got i luv it when a man takes charge! we did and he drove behind a building somewhere and then we fuc*ed in his car in broad daylight.. it wasn't the best, and it felt kinda funny doing that, but whateve! It was hot and it was much needed! Was far from the best, and closer to the worst, but as i said, much needed.. Then we left and went to do our respective things, and there was no contact.. I didn't think that there was going to be much more contact after that cause we just kinda smoked and then drifted back to our respective cars.. no goodbye or anything.. but surprise, surprise, lo and be hold sunday early evening, i get a text that asks me if i would like to go play pool.. of course i said yes.. pool is super fun and relaxing.. he said meet me in an hour, i said meet him in 2.. then i said i would just call him when i got hm.. he said ok.. i was out trolling for booty with clear, so, i wasn't really in a super big hurry to get home.. but since it was sunday, and she likes cho-lows, we couldn't find anything.. so we called it a night and she dropped me off.. i called him and asked if he wanted to come out to my house or if he just wanted to meet up.. he said meet up(smart boy!)so we did(he also asked if i was just going to stand him up, and i told him that as far as i see, we were even)we played pool, and he whooped up on me once or twice.. but only cause i was not on my a-game..and finally i won by default.. i decided to cut my losses and we headed out to the parkinglot, cause i got some new music, and wanted him to hear it.. so we listened and then he started fooling around with me.. of course we had to take it elsewhere,so we found a good place aNd got it on!! Basically I have finally deviginiezed my car! it was hot, it was sexy and boy was it good.. Soo.. i told him that he will just have to be my dirty little secret from NOW ON, CAUSE IT MAKES ME LOOK BAD TO continue to fool around with someone that acted thusly toward me.. he rolled his eyes a little and made such a disbelieveing noise.. but its true! I always say never go back.. but IDK, I need regular booty.. So now i'm at work, tired and worn out, trying to hide the bite marks on my ARMS! don't get me wrong, i love the ruffness, but OMG!! I did NOT want to get out of bed this morning!! I can't seem to wake up and i'm in such a fog! But i can't help but to keep a smile on my face! I'm guessing its cause i finally got some booty!! Hopefully, now I won't lose my job cause i'm getting it on a regular basis.. But I told him, I swear on Natass' pinky toe, that if he ever fu*ks me over like that again, i would kill him.. no really, I would seriously get him caught up in some crazy bull sh*t and then, have his scrawny a*S KILLED.. I'd like to watch to.. but now, i'm just getting a little to caught up in this.. as I told him.. i may LOOOOOOOOOOVE sex, but NOTHING is as sweet as REVENGE!! But for now, we will just enjoy the company of each other, it makes me happy cause now I'm ready to go party and hang and stuff, and I can totally troll for more booty.. So excited! I like em, but Once bitten, twice shy..
Friday, October 12, 2007
Tonight.. Rape!!
So I was thinking about what I wanted to do tonight.. and since all of my friends are otherwise occupied, i guess it will be another friday night spent all alone at mi casa, getting smashed by myself.. BOOOOOOOOO! see this is the part where i really start missing david.. I'm paid and ready to go hang out and drink til i can't feel feelings anymore then get royally super fucked.. maybe i could drink so much i wouldn't even know how bad the sex would be.. in that case, I would totally call josh, but then there is that whole thing of me not having a phone cause i want to get a new car.. But i've looked and looked on craigslist, and I see no cars that are in my price range that are worth purchasing.. maybe like 1 or 2, but.. they don't hit me as being something i truly WANT.. so I figured that I will just get my license back.. so that way i will at least be legal.. going to do that stuff ASAP after work.. luckily, it should only cost me like $300 to do it, but i guess we will see.. the crazy part is that after i have my license, then it will open up all sorts of possibilities for vehicles for me! Heck, i may even be able to just keep my blue bullet and get tags and such for it, instead of getting a new car.. i think that thats what I'm gonna do.. bUT THAT DOESN'T DISCOUNT THE FACT THAT TONIGHT I WANN GO DO BAD THINGS, AND I HAVE NOBODY TO GO DO BAD THINGS WITH! WHAT TO DO? WHAT TO DO? SO I GUESS MR.SMITH TAKES EXCEPTION TO THE FACT THAT I MAKE PRIVATE MATTERS PUBLIC.. BUT ITS NOT AS IF HE IS THE ONE THAT HAS BEEN PUT ON BLAST WITH THIS WHOLE THING.. I MEAN, I'M THE ONE THAT LOOKS LIKE A CHUMP CAUSE I'M THE ONE WHO DECIDED TO CATCH A CASE OF THE 'I REALLY LIKE YOUS' I'M THE ONE THAT GOT LEFT LOOKING STUPID AND DUMB.. SO WHY SHOULD HE BE OUT OF SORTS FOR IT? I GUESS IT DOESN'T MATTER CAUSE WELL, WE ALL KNOW THAT WHATEVER I WANT, I WON'T GET.. UNFORTUNATELY THE THING I WANTED MOST WAS DENIED AND NOW, NOW I HAVE TO LOOK ELSEWHERE FOR MY BOOTY.. AND BOY DO I WANT ASS. TODAY I GOT ALL DRESSED UP IN SOME REALLY NICE, TIGHT JEANS, AND A CUTE LITTLE SHIRT( APPARENTLY I WAS TOLD THAT I LOOK LIKE A HOT SK8ER CHICK TODAY!) AND I DID MY BRAIDS ALL CUTE AND WAVY AND FOR WHAT TO COME TO WORK AND THEN TO GO HOME? HOW LAME IS THAT SHIT?!?! BUT ITS FRIDAY.. MAYBE I WILL BE LUCKY ENOUGH TO MEET SOME RANDOM HOT GUY AT THE BANK , OR AT THE DMV OR AT THE MESA COURT.. WE SHALL SEE I GUESS.. UGHH! HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO FIND A GUY THAT CAN FUCK ME GOOD! THIS IS LIKE THE LAMEST THING EVER.. SO TONITE.. I GUESS I WILL BE DRUNK GIRL, AT HOME, BY MYSELF, ALL ALONE, AND HORNEY.. I DON'T THINK I CAN DO THAT AGAIN! I NEED ENTERTAINMENT! I NEED ADULT ENTERTAINMENT.. ANY ONE WANT TO HANG WITH DANIELLE? PLEASE? ANYONE?
Thursday, October 11, 2007
so after the fact..
I told the fucking crybaby that it was a bad ideaand she accepted it.. i guess she was thinking that we were somehow preserving our friendship.. OK.. I keep thinking about making an offer to the loser who plagues my thoughts at this time..he is a pox on my brain i tell you, A POX! but ya know..whateve.. i know that if i was to give in, it would just frustrate me more.. so, i will just bide my time until i find another delightful distraction for the moment.. hopefully it will be as delightful as he was.. i pray even more so.. I have been seriously thinking about propositioning Brian.. Mainly cause.. well.. Hes got a big ole dick and i just need to be stuffed at this time.. i figue that i would already know what i would be getting myself into.. cause we have been down that road before.. so i would just make it a point to realize that i would have to do all the work.. so that brings me back to the fact that since I am not lazy in the sack, then niether should my partner be.. but ya know.. right now.. i might even call up that josh guy.. even though it was completely horrible!! Just for the simplicity of being filled.. I just wwant to be snatched up, and handleed roughly.. fucked like a dirty slut in all holes and then left immedialty afterward to digest on how good and proper i was fucked.. i want more than one guy at a time and i want... i want to be fucked.. hoew else can i say it, beg for it, pleading for someone game enough for a night of true debauchery to step up to the plate.. someone not afraid to take as well as give.. someone to make me forget about everyother person or thing that i've had previously.. someone to dominate all my senses.. someone to bend me over backward.. someone to test my limits, someone to wear my fucking pussy out! Someone who can fuck me until I bleed.. someone... anyone.. now, I'm going to go take a looooong lesuirly bath and play with myself.. maybe i will see if i can fit my fist in my pussy this time.. ..naw.. i'll just stick with my toy.. By Satans right ear.. I miss my Seanathon!! Goddamn.. that muthafuka still to this day, has no equal..
I have no Patience
for simpering young twats who don't know jack shit about jack shit! Who smokes all of my ciggys and is constantly complaining about money, but not really doing anything about it.. who don't clean up after themselves( cause they are tired from working thire 2 mall jobs, but seem to be able to find the time to have sex with the rebound guy.. if not able to do some damn dishes!)That i'm pretty sure I would be taking advantage of her good nature if i moved with her, and since she can barely afford what she has now.. she couldn't afford to upgrade to a 2bdrm.. sooo.. in that sense.. i could see the fights and arguments and the crying.. OMG!!! the Fucking crying.. She is super sensitive about like EVERY-FuCKING -THING!! its dreary!! however, I could just be feeling extremely uncharitable right now just because she gets ass, and I'm stuck re-reading old paragraphs of somebody whom I know that if sex was tried for again, wouldn't ba as good as it was written.. Its never as good as it is written.. just like the movie is never as good as the book.. But even mediocre dick is more appreciated to this pissed off and angry state of mind that I'm in.. I know its cause I'm not getting any.. I'm pretty sure of that shit..Maybe I should just recant and say ..'hey guy! Yes, lets have some sex" but I can't just do it once.. and i couldn't just do it twice! and I couldn't be one of those every once in a while things.. i would have to have it every weekend like fucking clock work.. and since that would cut into his 'I feel the need to go try and break a bone in my body' time.. and since i would be put as a distant 2nd to bullshit, it would just piss me off and frustrate me more.. So what is a girl to do in this situation? I mean, to be honest, I DON'T really like him all that much.. its just that he is available and something to ease the stress after a hard week.. like a nice glass of scotch.. I mean its something you like to do, something you could do with out, but something that you would rather not have to do with out.. Does any of this shit makes sense? I already know what i'm gonna do in the instance of the crybaby.. i will make rediculous demands of her that she won't be able to handle, there by ultimately desroying what friendship we COULD have had.. cause I know, that as soon as she is out of this place.. she will be pretty much gone from my mind.. even if the phone was turned back on.. the callprobably wouldn't be answered.. plus since i drink( cause I am of age) and I like to occasionally smoke the funky smelling tobacco(and she doesnt) I'm pretty sure that it just wouldn't work out.. did I mention that she is fucking dirty? its white trash hell in that house.. and I just can't live in a place that smells, or looks like the outside of a trailer( or the inside depending on where you come from) And I don't like to share.. I don't ! and i could see her bumming from me all the time, eating my food, taking my stuff, letting her unsavory sounding ex, into the house to let him rifle thru my shit whilst shes not looking.. and them him moving back in to mooch.. I said DRAMA!! just like the whole of last night! I didn't care to meet those fucking people she JUST had to have me meet! I didn't want to "hang" at PV Mall with a bunch of underage fucktards! I didn't want to have to spend my last monies so that her and her equally retarded friend could smoke up all my shit! hell she went and got 2 fucking packs this morning.. why couldn't she have done thaT shit last night? IDK? I just wanted to look at cars! thats it!! she had to go find out that some friend she hasn't talk to in like a bajillion years shot himself.. shes bawling, and all i can ask is why the fuck me? why the fuck does this shit gotta be tonite? then her fucktarded friend, loses her wallet with all her shit in it and i tell her what to do.. she cancels her shit anyways! I just don't understand these chicks.. but it doesn't matter.. I figure that i will just have to tell her at lunch today that i made an error in this offer, and that its just not a good idea.. I will play the 'don't wanna fuck up our friendship' card, and also the ' it would be more cost effective for you' card.. cause i don't want to live with ANOTHER lame girly girl whom i would have no patience for.. By Satans eyeteeh.. I need to get laid.. Before i seriously hurt someone..or myself..SEX!! SEX!! SEX!! SEX!! SEX!! SEX!!! SEX!!!
Tuesday, October 9, 2007
God Bless it..I am Satans Bastard Child
Cause my life apparently has this type of shit goin on.. LAME.. But it does make for a decent story line! BTW.. after reading this, scroll all the way to the bottom and read up.. i'm to lazy to cut and paste it to read right.. this guys blog.. http://www.blogger.com/profile/06497103050847828167
======================================================fucktard!======================
RE: sadness?
Bored? Lonely? I thought all you needed was your sk8 board David.. It wasn't so much a nerve that you struck, as it was that I think I really just needed for you to be honest with me in the 'WHY?' factor.. Cause it did seem to come out of left field to me.. Thank-you for the closure.. and as far as me being disappointed in you as a person, honestly I wasn't all that disappointed( until the very end at least).. I liked your awkward , shy, bad dressing self.. it was your own unique style that you had.. I mean even you had to admit that size 50million doesn't look as good as size large does.. but regardless of that change.. did it ever occur to you that i met you, and liked you regardless of these things.. as far as that whole shyness, I just thought that you knew me better and was starting to open up.. it was not my intention to make you feel as if I was 'nitpicking' at you.. I was just giving my honest opinion( alot of the times unsolicited).. I have never thought of you as a Pussy.. Maybe a little bit of a loser ;) but in a good, hes doing his own thing kinda way.. I liked you the way you were.. i didn't even notice that there was a change, just thought you were showing me a side that nobody else saw.. i guess i did over think it.. As for, my own personal Danielleism.. Yeah.. I can be a bit much( I know this!).. and if I don't talk shit to you, it means i DON'T like you.. to me its kind of a term of endearment.. Thats why I was so perplexed when you told me that you didn't like sarcastic people.. But I guess a little ass WILL make you over look somethings.. to be honest.. I DIDN'T want to be your gf.. I DID just want to have fun, and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots of kinky sex.. soo I understand now.. Thanks again for clearing things up.. It honestly may have just saved your life.. :)~.. P.S. You don't have to fix the link, and you can do whatever you want with your blog.. I just don't care anymore..
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: david
Date: Oct 9, 2007 9:13 PM
Yeah, so, I was just writing these messages in a friendly matter because Iam bored and lonely.
No harm was intended. I guess I stuck a nerve or maybe like the fish that we are, you over-examined and put too much thought into my writings.......
But since we are on the topic, lets clear somethings up!
I never had a "clever" disguise. Iam not that smart or have the time to make up some fake personality to get pussy.
I was myself
Me,being myself, was something that continously dissappointed you. I hated being a dissappointment to you. I felt like shit everytime you said that. So that is why I couldn't be my quiet,boring,akward self around you. It felt like everything I did was wrong to you. From the way I dressed to how much I didn't talk. Iam a pussy and a loser, I guess in some peoples' eyes,but not in mine.
Also, at the time of bringing you back it was more about sex for me. I thought that is all you wanted. I do recall you even saying that you just wanted to be friends and have sex. I wanted a relationship so bad with someone and I was so glad that a girl actually took interest in me that certain things were overlooked. Soon realized that I couldn't handle your constant craving for attention and your "Danielle is always right and must be first!" persona. You were always upfront about that to me. I just didn't want to see it. Soon it became something I couldn't stop stareing at.
Anyways, I don't want to argue because its useless. I justed to wanted explain myself a little.I doubt this cleared anything up because you tend to believe what you want just so you are right.
~David James Smith
P.S. My blog will be updated soon and your link is being fixed.
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: I hope you break your face too!
Date: 09/10/2007
why ask any questions at all? You didn't feel that same about me as I did about you, so who really cares( besides me)? I'm pretty sure your not looking cause sk8ing is all you need in life right? Must be nice to has something that feels your life so completely, that outside human contact is redundant.. and as far as me actually getting sum.. I don't think it counts if its BAAAAAD..(oh so baaad!) I do like the fact that you still enjoy the memories of our previous encounters..But the key word is previous.. meaning nolonger happening, so memories is all either of us have.. I don't remember much other than certain times when it was really good or really awkward, but whateve.. as far as fooling around again with you.. hehehehehe.. I would have to be really drunk and acidentally dial your number again, which wouldn't happen since I no longer have a phone.. Call it.. its off! But I figure, that I will try to grant your last wish of doing my best to stay out of your atmosphere, and let you do what you feel is best for you.. I mean, that is what you wanted when you basically told me that you had been lying to me the whole time I knew you about what your true nature was.. it was my own stupid fault for not being able to see thru your 'clever' disguise.. or maybe, i didn't want to.. just cause.. idk.. I figured you bringing me back to AZ was your way of making the "grand gesture" But obviously, it wasn't.. I guess sex WAS all you wanted.. and to be honest, I'm glad I had to go thru this bullshit again.. it WILL set me straight an realize, that no matter what you think is there between you and a person, There really is Nothing, but...
P.S. Up date your blog on blogspot.. either put up some new shit to watch, or something.. also, the link to my blog is all shot to hell, you may want to try fixing it, cause it just leads to an error page..
Not gonna fall,
Danielle(the truthful one)
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: david
Date: Oct 9, 2007 6:29 PM
I am sorry Danielle. First, that your latest conquest was a dissappointment,but hey, at least you got some. Why was it a bust? Did he try to makeout with you? Not into cunnilingus? Didn't know that spot right above your clit to put pressure on?Small fingers? Or he didn't know how to move his hips? Why Iam asking these questions? I haven't gotten any,but its not like Iam really looking.
Second, Iam sorry that I told you about my fanasty,I just thought that you would be interested in how I was still enjoying memories of our previous sexual encounters. And by the repeative reading on your part of those few sentences you did enjoy that tid bit of info. Now, actually having sex again....thats up to you. I don't want those damn emotions getting in the way again.
Yours Truely,
Mr.Smith(yes, that is my real name)
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: u R AN iDiOt, aND eVERyONe KNoWs
Date: 09/10/2007
ooh Mr. smith( if that is your real name) You tempt me so!! you would go and tell me such a dirty little thing like that.. You really do SUCK!.. and as for JoSh.. eh.. I was disappointed.. But I should be used to that.. I can't help but to re-read what you wrote over and over.. and You really are an ASSHOLE for telling me something you know I would do at just about anytime.. Whateve.. I hope everything works out for you.. -Evil Demon Succubis
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: david
Date: Oct 8, 2007 11:57 PM
Don't worry about the drunk dialing. It was funny considering you first called my phone looking for "Josh". I was also intoxicated at the time you called and the thought of random drunken violent sex with u got me very turned on...but I knew shouldn't be driving so I had my friend drop me off at my house and I masturbated to the idea of picking u up,fucking u doggystyle in the backseat of my car, pulling your braids, smacking your ass,pulling out and making u drain the cum out of my cock with your lucious lips,and then just dropping u off.
Thanks for the fanasty!
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: u R AN iDiOt, aND eVERyONe KNoWs
Date: 08/10/2007
OMG!! that is a most unfortunate happenstance! Especially having to watch the footage of it several times! I feel bad for being a smart ass now( and kinda hopeing that you DID break something, so I could cum over and help nurse you back to health LOL..)Please let Mr. Heeter know that I am pleased that he is alive and such and that he should ask them to give him Neorotonin, or even Extravan( which is made from marijuana).. those would I'm sure make him feel extreeeemley good! Hope he feels better, and I would tell you not to take it so hard, but not knowing you all that well, i would be out of line I'M SURE.. JUST LIKE ME CONTACTING YOU IS PROBABLY INCREDIBLY OUT OF LINE.. i APOLOGIZE FOR MY DRUNKIN DIALING NIGHT.. AND HOPE THAT EVERYTHING GOES WELL FOR YOUR FRIEND..
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: david
Date: Oct 8, 2007 7:27 PM
I didn't break anything,but my friend did. On Saturday afternoon, My friend, Paul Heeter, and I were out skating and filming. We went to the first spot and he got his trick. After that, we decided to check out this gap he wanted to ollie. The gap was a weird one because he had to ollie between a tree branch and land on a small sidewalk. He was kinda sketched about trying it so I offered some words of incouragement. I knew it would make for some good footage. Not that many people ollie through trees so it would be a cool clip. He decided to give it a go. So, I got across the street with the video camera. He rolled up to the gap and didn't ollie,just jumped through the branch and hit the edge of the sidewalk and fell forward straight into a moving car. I thought he got his head ran over. I was in shock. When I ran across the street he was under the car screaming,face and hands bloody. I helped him up and he sat down on the curb. His right arm was broken and burnt. 3 of his fingers were broke and bleeding. His mouth was draining red crimson as well due to bits of his teeth the broke off and cut his lips. An ambulance was quickly called and took him away to the hospital. I had to stay and deal with the cops which involved having to watch and hear the footage of the fall mulitpal times.
That sucked. I went to the hospital but was unable to see him because he was in the Trauma unit. So, I drove his suv back to his house and informed his famliy. Later, that night he called me from the hospital to let me know that he was alive(but hitting the morphine button as much as possible) and had to get sugery the next day. Thats why Iam sad.... I filmed my friend almost die.
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: i'M A MONSTER AND EVERYDAY IS HOLLOWEEN!!
Date: 08/10/2007
Why are you sad? did you break something?!?
======================================================fucktard!======================
RE: sadness?
Bored? Lonely? I thought all you needed was your sk8 board David.. It wasn't so much a nerve that you struck, as it was that I think I really just needed for you to be honest with me in the 'WHY?' factor.. Cause it did seem to come out of left field to me.. Thank-you for the closure.. and as far as me being disappointed in you as a person, honestly I wasn't all that disappointed( until the very end at least).. I liked your awkward , shy, bad dressing self.. it was your own unique style that you had.. I mean even you had to admit that size 50million doesn't look as good as size large does.. but regardless of that change.. did it ever occur to you that i met you, and liked you regardless of these things.. as far as that whole shyness, I just thought that you knew me better and was starting to open up.. it was not my intention to make you feel as if I was 'nitpicking' at you.. I was just giving my honest opinion( alot of the times unsolicited).. I have never thought of you as a Pussy.. Maybe a little bit of a loser ;) but in a good, hes doing his own thing kinda way.. I liked you the way you were.. i didn't even notice that there was a change, just thought you were showing me a side that nobody else saw.. i guess i did over think it.. As for, my own personal Danielleism.. Yeah.. I can be a bit much( I know this!).. and if I don't talk shit to you, it means i DON'T like you.. to me its kind of a term of endearment.. Thats why I was so perplexed when you told me that you didn't like sarcastic people.. But I guess a little ass WILL make you over look somethings.. to be honest.. I DIDN'T want to be your gf.. I DID just want to have fun, and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots of kinky sex.. soo I understand now.. Thanks again for clearing things up.. It honestly may have just saved your life.. :)~.. P.S. You don't have to fix the link, and you can do whatever you want with your blog.. I just don't care anymore..
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: david
Date: Oct 9, 2007 9:13 PM
Yeah, so, I was just writing these messages in a friendly matter because Iam bored and lonely.
No harm was intended. I guess I stuck a nerve or maybe like the fish that we are, you over-examined and put too much thought into my writings.......
But since we are on the topic, lets clear somethings up!
I never had a "clever" disguise. Iam not that smart or have the time to make up some fake personality to get pussy.
I was myself
Me,being myself, was something that continously dissappointed you. I hated being a dissappointment to you. I felt like shit everytime you said that. So that is why I couldn't be my quiet,boring,akward self around you. It felt like everything I did was wrong to you. From the way I dressed to how much I didn't talk. Iam a pussy and a loser, I guess in some peoples' eyes,but not in mine.
Also, at the time of bringing you back it was more about sex for me. I thought that is all you wanted. I do recall you even saying that you just wanted to be friends and have sex. I wanted a relationship so bad with someone and I was so glad that a girl actually took interest in me that certain things were overlooked. Soon realized that I couldn't handle your constant craving for attention and your "Danielle is always right and must be first!" persona. You were always upfront about that to me. I just didn't want to see it. Soon it became something I couldn't stop stareing at.
Anyways, I don't want to argue because its useless. I justed to wanted explain myself a little.I doubt this cleared anything up because you tend to believe what you want just so you are right.
~David James Smith
P.S. My blog will be updated soon and your link is being fixed.
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: I hope you break your face too!
Date: 09/10/2007
why ask any questions at all? You didn't feel that same about me as I did about you, so who really cares( besides me)? I'm pretty sure your not looking cause sk8ing is all you need in life right? Must be nice to has something that feels your life so completely, that outside human contact is redundant.. and as far as me actually getting sum.. I don't think it counts if its BAAAAAD..(oh so baaad!) I do like the fact that you still enjoy the memories of our previous encounters..But the key word is previous.. meaning nolonger happening, so memories is all either of us have.. I don't remember much other than certain times when it was really good or really awkward, but whateve.. as far as fooling around again with you.. hehehehehe.. I would have to be really drunk and acidentally dial your number again, which wouldn't happen since I no longer have a phone.. Call it.. its off! But I figure, that I will try to grant your last wish of doing my best to stay out of your atmosphere, and let you do what you feel is best for you.. I mean, that is what you wanted when you basically told me that you had been lying to me the whole time I knew you about what your true nature was.. it was my own stupid fault for not being able to see thru your 'clever' disguise.. or maybe, i didn't want to.. just cause.. idk.. I figured you bringing me back to AZ was your way of making the "grand gesture" But obviously, it wasn't.. I guess sex WAS all you wanted.. and to be honest, I'm glad I had to go thru this bullshit again.. it WILL set me straight an realize, that no matter what you think is there between you and a person, There really is Nothing, but...
P.S. Up date your blog on blogspot.. either put up some new shit to watch, or something.. also, the link to my blog is all shot to hell, you may want to try fixing it, cause it just leads to an error page..
Not gonna fall,
Danielle(the truthful one)
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: david
Date: Oct 9, 2007 6:29 PM
I am sorry Danielle. First, that your latest conquest was a dissappointment,but hey, at least you got some. Why was it a bust? Did he try to makeout with you? Not into cunnilingus? Didn't know that spot right above your clit to put pressure on?Small fingers? Or he didn't know how to move his hips? Why Iam asking these questions? I haven't gotten any,but its not like Iam really looking.
Second, Iam sorry that I told you about my fanasty,I just thought that you would be interested in how I was still enjoying memories of our previous sexual encounters. And by the repeative reading on your part of those few sentences you did enjoy that tid bit of info. Now, actually having sex again....thats up to you. I don't want those damn emotions getting in the way again.
Yours Truely,
Mr.Smith(yes, that is my real name)
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: u R AN iDiOt, aND eVERyONe KNoWs
Date: 09/10/2007
ooh Mr. smith( if that is your real name) You tempt me so!! you would go and tell me such a dirty little thing like that.. You really do SUCK!.. and as for JoSh.. eh.. I was disappointed.. But I should be used to that.. I can't help but to re-read what you wrote over and over.. and You really are an ASSHOLE for telling me something you know I would do at just about anytime.. Whateve.. I hope everything works out for you.. -Evil Demon Succubis
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: david
Date: Oct 8, 2007 11:57 PM
Don't worry about the drunk dialing. It was funny considering you first called my phone looking for "Josh". I was also intoxicated at the time you called and the thought of random drunken violent sex with u got me very turned on...but I knew shouldn't be driving so I had my friend drop me off at my house and I masturbated to the idea of picking u up,fucking u doggystyle in the backseat of my car, pulling your braids, smacking your ass,pulling out and making u drain the cum out of my cock with your lucious lips,and then just dropping u off.
Thanks for the fanasty!
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: u R AN iDiOt, aND eVERyONe KNoWs
Date: 08/10/2007
OMG!! that is a most unfortunate happenstance! Especially having to watch the footage of it several times! I feel bad for being a smart ass now( and kinda hopeing that you DID break something, so I could cum over and help nurse you back to health LOL..)Please let Mr. Heeter know that I am pleased that he is alive and such and that he should ask them to give him Neorotonin, or even Extravan( which is made from marijuana).. those would I'm sure make him feel extreeeemley good! Hope he feels better, and I would tell you not to take it so hard, but not knowing you all that well, i would be out of line I'M SURE.. JUST LIKE ME CONTACTING YOU IS PROBABLY INCREDIBLY OUT OF LINE.. i APOLOGIZE FOR MY DRUNKIN DIALING NIGHT.. AND HOPE THAT EVERYTHING GOES WELL FOR YOUR FRIEND..
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: david
Date: Oct 8, 2007 7:27 PM
I didn't break anything,but my friend did. On Saturday afternoon, My friend, Paul Heeter, and I were out skating and filming. We went to the first spot and he got his trick. After that, we decided to check out this gap he wanted to ollie. The gap was a weird one because he had to ollie between a tree branch and land on a small sidewalk. He was kinda sketched about trying it so I offered some words of incouragement. I knew it would make for some good footage. Not that many people ollie through trees so it would be a cool clip. He decided to give it a go. So, I got across the street with the video camera. He rolled up to the gap and didn't ollie,just jumped through the branch and hit the edge of the sidewalk and fell forward straight into a moving car. I thought he got his head ran over. I was in shock. When I ran across the street he was under the car screaming,face and hands bloody. I helped him up and he sat down on the curb. His right arm was broken and burnt. 3 of his fingers were broke and bleeding. His mouth was draining red crimson as well due to bits of his teeth the broke off and cut his lips. An ambulance was quickly called and took him away to the hospital. I had to stay and deal with the cops which involved having to watch and hear the footage of the fall mulitpal times.
That sucked. I went to the hospital but was unable to see him because he was in the Trauma unit. So, I drove his suv back to his house and informed his famliy. Later, that night he called me from the hospital to let me know that he was alive(but hitting the morphine button as much as possible) and had to get sugery the next day. Thats why Iam sad.... I filmed my friend almost die.
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: i'M A MONSTER AND EVERYDAY IS HOLLOWEEN!!
Date: 08/10/2007
Why are you sad? did you break something?!?
wHAT A BASTARD!!
YES, A BASTARD!! NOW HE JUST FU*CKS WITH MY EMOTIONS! TELLING ME THINGS THAT HE WOULD HAVE DONE TO ME ON THE NIGHT OF MY DRUNKEN RAMPAGE! HOW CRUEL CAN YOU REALLY BE? SO SAD.. ESPECIALLY AS I SHOULD HAVE LEFT THIS MSG TO READ AT HOME, INSTEAD OF FEELING ALL TORTURED AT WORK.. AT LEAST I COULD HAVE HANDLED MYSELF AT HM.. I GUESS I COULD GO TO THE BATHROOM AND HANDLE MYSELF NOW, BUT, THAT JUST DOESN'T SOUND LIKE I WOULD HAVE A VERY GOOD TIME! FUDGECICLES!!! I WILL HAVE TO WRITE MORE LATER, CAUSE NOW JUST ISN'T A GOOD TIME OR PLACE OR WHATEVER TO WRITE ABOUT WHAT I WOULD WANT TO DO TO HIM.................... okies.. so I'm back and this is what i wrote in my myspace blog.. just to clear up confusion!
October 9, 2007 - Tuesday
if this doesn’t turn you on, then you have a really boring sex life..
This is what the sk8er boi wrote me back after our last wrechedly awkard encounter.. yes i contacted him 1st, andi apoplogized for the drunken dialing.. i was looking for that josh guy..but this it what he had to say in regards to my apology.. how HOT is this shit! Exactly what I wanted! its ashame, that 2 such like minded people, can't seem to see eye to eye on, well, really anything.. but i guess, he could just be lying about this too, since he did lie to me the whole time we knew each other about who he was.. But its still hot, and so wrong to have written knowing how i would react to that.. But whateve.. next time, I hope its him who breaks his face.. ok that was a little harsh, and not at all the nice thing to do.. but thats how I feel!
Don't worry about the drunk dialing. It was funny considering you first called my phone looking for "Josh". I was also intoxicated at the time you called and the thought of random drunken violent sex with u got me very turned on...but I knew shouldn't be driving so I had my friend drop me off at my house and I masturbated to the idea of picking u up,fucking u doggystyle in the backseat of my car, pulling your braids, smacking your ass,pulling out and making u drain the cum out of my cock with your lucious lips,and then just dropping u off.
Thanks for the fanasty!
How awesomely fucked up is that! I'm totally down for that shit.. in fact, that is exactly what i wanted that night!! I guess I should just be happy that he decided to think of me to get him off.. I mean, i don't really think of him to get off(at least not him by hisself, usually i'm being double teamed by him and the sexxy man Brian..(so sexxy!))but.. i .. just whatever! I'm just so goddamned frustrated and confused by all this bull shit, i don't even know what to believe, or think anymore.. I wish i could at least cry about it, but that doesn't seem to be apart of my nature anymore.. This confusion makes me depressed.. and I shouldn't be!! I may be possibly getting a new car this weekend, and even going to the greek festival and doing some serious hangin out & scouting for booty! So I have no idea why I'm so goddamned depressed by this shit.. its not as if he was a real looker, or made a bunch of money, or was even relatively a good conversationalist.. so why am I all bajiggity? who knows.. maybe.. you know what? I obviously doesn't even matter what I think.. so.. Fuck it!!
So it would be nice if people actually read my piece of crap blogs and then replied in a forthwith manner, telling me why.. give me some sort of sign that i am not alone in my confusion.. then maybe we could brainstorm some sort of way to come out of this without killing the other person... or ourselves out of frustration.. I think I'm gonna have a heart attack with all this stress.. God! and I thought dealing with t-mobile was bad...
October 9, 2007 - Tuesday
if this doesn’t turn you on, then you have a really boring sex life..
This is what the sk8er boi wrote me back after our last wrechedly awkard encounter.. yes i contacted him 1st, andi apoplogized for the drunken dialing.. i was looking for that josh guy..but this it what he had to say in regards to my apology.. how HOT is this shit! Exactly what I wanted! its ashame, that 2 such like minded people, can't seem to see eye to eye on, well, really anything.. but i guess, he could just be lying about this too, since he did lie to me the whole time we knew each other about who he was.. But its still hot, and so wrong to have written knowing how i would react to that.. But whateve.. next time, I hope its him who breaks his face.. ok that was a little harsh, and not at all the nice thing to do.. but thats how I feel!
Don't worry about the drunk dialing. It was funny considering you first called my phone looking for "Josh". I was also intoxicated at the time you called and the thought of random drunken violent sex with u got me very turned on...but I knew shouldn't be driving so I had my friend drop me off at my house and I masturbated to the idea of picking u up,fucking u doggystyle in the backseat of my car, pulling your braids, smacking your ass,pulling out and making u drain the cum out of my cock with your lucious lips,and then just dropping u off.
Thanks for the fanasty!
How awesomely fucked up is that! I'm totally down for that shit.. in fact, that is exactly what i wanted that night!! I guess I should just be happy that he decided to think of me to get him off.. I mean, i don't really think of him to get off(at least not him by hisself, usually i'm being double teamed by him and the sexxy man Brian..(so sexxy!))but.. i .. just whatever! I'm just so goddamned frustrated and confused by all this bull shit, i don't even know what to believe, or think anymore.. I wish i could at least cry about it, but that doesn't seem to be apart of my nature anymore.. This confusion makes me depressed.. and I shouldn't be!! I may be possibly getting a new car this weekend, and even going to the greek festival and doing some serious hangin out & scouting for booty! So I have no idea why I'm so goddamned depressed by this shit.. its not as if he was a real looker, or made a bunch of money, or was even relatively a good conversationalist.. so why am I all bajiggity? who knows.. maybe.. you know what? I obviously doesn't even matter what I think.. so.. Fuck it!!
So it would be nice if people actually read my piece of crap blogs and then replied in a forthwith manner, telling me why.. give me some sort of sign that i am not alone in my confusion.. then maybe we could brainstorm some sort of way to come out of this without killing the other person... or ourselves out of frustration.. I think I'm gonna have a heart attack with all this stress.. God! and I thought dealing with t-mobile was bad...
Monday, October 8, 2007
Does it ever end??
If I saw you now? Could I look in your eyes? Do ya think of me? Like I dream of you? Do you wish you were here? Like I wish I was with you? You loved me before, Do you love me now? Does love ever end? When 2 hearts are torn away? or does it go on, and beat strong anyway? You loved me before, Do you love me now? Come back to me right now! Come on, Come on, Come back to me right now! Come on, Come on, Come back to me right now! Come back to me right now! Come on! Come on! Come on! You loved me before, do you love me now? -The breeders..
I have been listening to this song, pretty much since i got home around we will say 4pm.. Such simple lyrics with so much emotion behind them.. If you ever get a chance to listen to this song, just remember, everyone goes through this with at least one person in their lives.. mostly with the opposite sex.. but it could happen with the same also.. it could be a brother, a sister, a parent.. it could even be, a pet.. anything or any one that you have felt close enough to grieve for their loss..the fear of loosing something that you feel this deeply about, is usually not enough to keep even the strongest from getting involved.. but when you do lose it.. it hurts.. a lot.. and it feels as if nothing could ever fill that void again.. it has nothing to do with love, and everything to do with letting what ever it is in to your inner most sanctum , that place that most don't see.. and then all that comfortableness being snatched away in the blink of an eye.. I've had this happen several times.. and every fucking time, I SWEAR i will never let it happen again.. these things, they lull you into a false state of security..and then drop away when you want/need to lean on them the most.. trust is such and issue, that we actually(as human beings)have created games and songs and companies and even national symbols that lull us into that false sense of security.. nothing is promised except for death.. nothing is promised except pain, nothing is more real than hate.. and.. right now i want to cry out in agony at the way my insides are twisting all around.. I can look myself in the eye for just about anything, except to say that i love and cherish a person.. how is that possible? why do I feel so ashamed to let go and just tell them how i feel when i feel it? cause i should be able to do that and hold my head high with out fearing the consequences.. irreguardless of what the person/ thing feels or does..like it makes me less of a person or a weak person to have these feelings.. its gotten so bad with me, that the only time i cry, is when i am in physical pain.. and even then.. it doesn't hurt as much as the whole in my chest where my heart is supposed to be does.. I won't use the same old " torn out of my chest and stomped on " illiteration, cause thats not how it feels.. and i won't say that i feel worse that others or that my pain ins more specific.. i weep on the inside for all of man kind, for we are a doomed nation.. it all started with the thought of evolution..We were doomed from the moment we thought that this all begun with us and that it will end with us.. Now, we have gotten so bad, that we try to ignore our baser instincts, in order for us to survive.. truth is, we are all incredibly bored.. and everything that we have created is for nothing more than our own pleasure.. our own diversion of the main thing.. that we are all as a whole.. insignificant, and that we are all going to die.
I have been listening to this song, pretty much since i got home around we will say 4pm.. Such simple lyrics with so much emotion behind them.. If you ever get a chance to listen to this song, just remember, everyone goes through this with at least one person in their lives.. mostly with the opposite sex.. but it could happen with the same also.. it could be a brother, a sister, a parent.. it could even be, a pet.. anything or any one that you have felt close enough to grieve for their loss..the fear of loosing something that you feel this deeply about, is usually not enough to keep even the strongest from getting involved.. but when you do lose it.. it hurts.. a lot.. and it feels as if nothing could ever fill that void again.. it has nothing to do with love, and everything to do with letting what ever it is in to your inner most sanctum , that place that most don't see.. and then all that comfortableness being snatched away in the blink of an eye.. I've had this happen several times.. and every fucking time, I SWEAR i will never let it happen again.. these things, they lull you into a false state of security..and then drop away when you want/need to lean on them the most.. trust is such and issue, that we actually(as human beings)have created games and songs and companies and even national symbols that lull us into that false sense of security.. nothing is promised except for death.. nothing is promised except pain, nothing is more real than hate.. and.. right now i want to cry out in agony at the way my insides are twisting all around.. I can look myself in the eye for just about anything, except to say that i love and cherish a person.. how is that possible? why do I feel so ashamed to let go and just tell them how i feel when i feel it? cause i should be able to do that and hold my head high with out fearing the consequences.. irreguardless of what the person/ thing feels or does..like it makes me less of a person or a weak person to have these feelings.. its gotten so bad with me, that the only time i cry, is when i am in physical pain.. and even then.. it doesn't hurt as much as the whole in my chest where my heart is supposed to be does.. I won't use the same old " torn out of my chest and stomped on " illiteration, cause thats not how it feels.. and i won't say that i feel worse that others or that my pain ins more specific.. i weep on the inside for all of man kind, for we are a doomed nation.. it all started with the thought of evolution..We were doomed from the moment we thought that this all begun with us and that it will end with us.. Now, we have gotten so bad, that we try to ignore our baser instincts, in order for us to survive.. truth is, we are all incredibly bored.. and everything that we have created is for nothing more than our own pleasure.. our own diversion of the main thing.. that we are all as a whole.. insignificant, and that we are all going to die.
GAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!
YES.. GAY! I HAVE BEEN HANGING OUT AT WORK, ALL DAY, JJUST THINKING ABOUT HIM(THE GUY i KNEW BUT DIDN'T KNOW) AND IT SUCKS! I HAVE NO CLUE WHY HE KEEPS POPPING UP IN MY MIND.. I MISS HIM(OR WHO HE ACTED LIKE HE WAS BUT WASN'T)AND IT SUCKS!! I HAVE JUST BEEN THINKING ABOUT HOW GORGEOUS HIS EYES WERE, HOW MUCH I LOOOOVED HIS HEIGHT AND HIS BODY.. AND HOW MUCH I MISS JUST HANGING OUT.. THIS SUCKS! WHY CAN'T I FIND SOMEONE LIKE HOW HE ACTED LIKE HE WAS IT WAS DAMN NEAR PERFECTO!! BOY-OH-BOY!! MABYE I WILL GO HOME AND GET DRUNK TONITE AS AN EXCUSE TO CALL HIM.. NAAAAAH.. THAT JUST BODES ILL WILL FOR MYSELF AND MY POOR LITTLE HEART THAT I SEEM TO HAVE AQUIRED.. MABYE I JUST NEED SEXX...
i just don't understand
Where the color has gone in my blogs! I used to be able to pick the color and font for them, but now, all i get is bold or italic.. what gives? Any wayz.. so this weekend was alright.. it seems that i've slipped into some sort of mediocre state of acceptance that David(if that is his real name) and all the other guys( with the exception of a very small amount) all would like to have those silly little girly girls.. I had this dream last night, where I at somepoint aquired an suv and was going to davids house to hang with him.. Some how my mthr met me there, and we were all hanging out.. then David was like i have luch meat for sandwiches.. and i was like sweeeeeeeeet! So we made really good sandwiches, but something was just wrong, and my mom needed something and David was acting all super mean.. He had on a hat and when he took it off, he was going bald like as i was looking at it.. but he pissed me off( and for some reason so did my mthr) so i just grabbed my shit and left.. my mthr came running out of the house and David, stayed at the table.. I guess to finish his food.. I needed to make a left hand turn, but it was so trafficy that i couldn't..It was wierd, cause the streets reminded me of the streets in GA.. So did the house.. so I went right and tried to turn around a little further down the road( there was a school on the left hand side) and ended up getting so frustrated that i just parked the car and ran into the field.. suddenly the field turned into a gigantic toy aisle from petco.. and i got lost.. then i was looking at the toys and found a way out.. I got back into my car, and left to go hang out with Jeremy.. we were looking for a place to have my 30th b-day party, and because Jeremy thought everything was cool, he didn't realize that i was actually looking for a building that had a roof that we could have a party on so that I could jump off it! But somehow the realitor knew, and was all cool with it.. I guess everyone was happy because I had become so spiritless and blah over the past couple of years( of which i would assume that I was with Jeremy, that they were just glad that I was starting to show more spunk again.. I would assume that the only place I apparently showed any type of interest was in bed, and I think that I was still bored and just did it cause I felt as if i had no choice.. I think It floated through my head at one point, that since i was dying at 30, might as well get it from a regular source, instead of hopping from person to person, not knowing where it was going to be coming from.. Like it was wierd, i saw my life with Jeremy, and we never really hung out together.. he would chill with his friends, and I would hang with mine, and then we would come together at night to have sex and I would cook.. LAME!! But when we were looking for buildings, the lady kept telling us that we couldn't smoke on the roof.. so i told her that I needed a building that we could smoke on the roof, because the majority of our friends were smokers, and I didn't want them smkoking in the actual room where the party was being held.. plus it would give couples an excuse to try to be alone.. they laughed at me, but we finally found one.. it was perfect.. it couldnt be a more fitting place.. but it looked like we were in newyork when we found the building.. It was a wierd dream.. A really wierd dream.. I wonder if its telling me that no matter what I do, the most exciting thing for me to look forward to in my life is killing myself on my 30th b-day.. HOW LAME IS THAT?
Sunday, October 7, 2007
Could I be more of a loser?!?
SO bASICALLY I GOT COMPLETELY SMASHED BY MYSELF ON FRIDAY NIGHT.. HOW LAME! bUT IT TU4RNED OUT TO BE GROOVY CAUSE MY BOY JOSH STOPPED BY TO FUCK ME GOOD, AND THEN I MADE HIM LEAVE SO THAT I COULD PASS OUT! WAS FABULOUS!! BUT IT WASN'T VERY GOOD SEX.. HE IS SKINNY AND SMALL AND I'M NOT INTO GUYS OF THAT SIZE..BUT FOR THE TIME BEING.. IT WORKS.. I DRUNK DIEALED DAVID(IF THAT IS HIS REAL NAME) AND A SUNCH OF OTHER PEOPLE.. BOY WHAT A NIGHT..
Thursday, October 4, 2007
DRIED UP, TIED AND DEAD TO THE WORLD..
MARYLIN MANSON HIT THE NAIL ON THE HEAD WITH THIS ONE.. CAUSE THAT IS HOW I AM MOST DEFINATELY FEELING TODAY.. I MEAN I WENT TO BED AT LIKE 730PM LAST NIGHT, AND FOUND IT INCREDIBLY HARD TO WAKE-UP THIS MORNING.. IN FACT, MY CLOCK READ 445AM WHEN I WOKE BACK UP.. I MEAN I COULDN'T BELIEVE IT!! BUT I STILL MADE IT TO WORK BY 517AM.. I JUST DON'T KNOW HOW I KEEP DOING THIS.. I MUST EITHER BE GETTING SICK, OR PREGNANT, CAUSE I never sleep!! this was sent to me from a co-worker at work.. i'll tell you my response to her and the others, and then you can read the fucking e-mail!
THIS IS WHAT I WROTE....
This is the silliest thing I have ever heard! Getting old is not a priveledge or a pleaseure it is neither exciting or fun! Once you reach the age of 30yrs, it all goes downhill from there.. EVERYTHING! Old age is nothing to look forward to! I resent them trying to impose upon me that growing old is anything but a waste of time, and space.. I stand by my therory of don't breed, don't live past 30yrs, and don't listen to what others have to say about what you do in your life..
THIS IS THE E-MAIL
-----Original Message-----
From: Israel, Roma
Sent: Thursday, October 04, 2007 8:51 AM
To: Howard, Traci; Henderson, Anneliese; Hage, Linda; Hooberry, Melissa
Subject: Don't Break The Elastic!
In April, Maya Angelou was interviewed by Oprah on her 70+ birthday.
Oprah asked her what she thought of growing older.
And, there on television, she said it was "exciting." Regarding body changes, she said there were many, occurring every day, like her breasts.
They seem to be in a race to see which will reach her waist, first.
The audience laughed so hard they cried. She is such a simple and honest woman, with so much wisdom in her words!
Maya Angelou said this:
"I've learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow."
"I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights."
"I've learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you'll miss them when they're gone from your life."
"I've learned that making a 'living' is not the same thing as 'making a life'."
"I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance."
"I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw some things back."
"I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision."
"I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one."
"I've learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone.
People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back."
"I've learned that I still have a lot to learn."
"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."
Please send this to five phenomenal people today
If you do, something good will happen: You will boost another persons self-esteem
If you don't...the elastic will break and your underpants will fall down around your ankles! ;-) Believe me, I didn't take any chances on MY elastic breaking....I sent it to a lot of special people I care for Don't Break The Elastic!!
HOW BULL SHIT IS THIS?!!! 1ST OF ALL, i'M NOT WEARING ANY UNDIES TODAY :) AND 2NDLY, I DON'T BELEIVE IN ANY OF THIS BULLSHIT! YOU DO WHAT YOU DO FOR YOURSELF AND NO ONE ELSE! TRYING TO BE "FRIENDS" OR ANYTHING MORE WITH PEOPLE USUALLY JUST BLOW UP IN YOUR FACE ANYWAYZ! bY THE LEFT PINKY TOE OF NATAS!!! i DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY i'M SOOOOOO ANGRY THIS MORNING!! SOOOOOOOO FUCKING ANGRY!!
THIS IS WHAT I WROTE....
This is the silliest thing I have ever heard! Getting old is not a priveledge or a pleaseure it is neither exciting or fun! Once you reach the age of 30yrs, it all goes downhill from there.. EVERYTHING! Old age is nothing to look forward to! I resent them trying to impose upon me that growing old is anything but a waste of time, and space.. I stand by my therory of don't breed, don't live past 30yrs, and don't listen to what others have to say about what you do in your life..
THIS IS THE E-MAIL
-----Original Message-----
From: Israel, Roma
Sent: Thursday, October 04, 2007 8:51 AM
To: Howard, Traci; Henderson, Anneliese; Hage, Linda; Hooberry, Melissa
Subject: Don't Break The Elastic!
In April, Maya Angelou was interviewed by Oprah on her 70+ birthday.
Oprah asked her what she thought of growing older.
And, there on television, she said it was "exciting." Regarding body changes, she said there were many, occurring every day, like her breasts.
They seem to be in a race to see which will reach her waist, first.
The audience laughed so hard they cried. She is such a simple and honest woman, with so much wisdom in her words!
Maya Angelou said this:
"I've learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow."
"I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights."
"I've learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you'll miss them when they're gone from your life."
"I've learned that making a 'living' is not the same thing as 'making a life'."
"I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance."
"I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw some things back."
"I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision."
"I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one."
"I've learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone.
People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back."
"I've learned that I still have a lot to learn."
"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."
Please send this to five phenomenal people today
If you do, something good will happen: You will boost another persons self-esteem
If you don't...the elastic will break and your underpants will fall down around your ankles! ;-) Believe me, I didn't take any chances on MY elastic breaking....I sent it to a lot of special people I care for Don't Break The Elastic!!
HOW BULL SHIT IS THIS?!!! 1ST OF ALL, i'M NOT WEARING ANY UNDIES TODAY :) AND 2NDLY, I DON'T BELEIVE IN ANY OF THIS BULLSHIT! YOU DO WHAT YOU DO FOR YOURSELF AND NO ONE ELSE! TRYING TO BE "FRIENDS" OR ANYTHING MORE WITH PEOPLE USUALLY JUST BLOW UP IN YOUR FACE ANYWAYZ! bY THE LEFT PINKY TOE OF NATAS!!! i DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY i'M SOOOOOO ANGRY THIS MORNING!! SOOOOOOOO FUCKING ANGRY!!
Wednesday, October 3, 2007
HARRY CONNICK JR..
AND MICHAEL BUBLE ARE MY NEW FAVORITE PEOPLE TO LISTEN TO WHILST AT WORK! THEY MAKE ME FEEL HAPPY AND SECURE.. ALMOST LIKE BEING IN LOVE.. BUT WITH MYSELF... SO.. TO ALL MY LADIES OUT THERE.. DEDICATE A SONG FROM ONE OF THEM TO YOURSELVES.. MAY I SUGGEST HARRY CONNICK JR.S'- JUST KISS ME OR MICHAEL BUBLES'-CAN'T BUY ME LOVE.. OR EVEN A LITTLE FRANK SINATRA- I'VE GOT YOU UNDER MY SKIN.. I LOVE IT! SO I HAD THE TALK WITH CK ABOUT WHAT WAS GOING ON BETWEEN US.. AND WELL AGIAN WITH THE SAD FACE.. WE DECIDED THAT WE WANTED COMPLETELY DIFFERENT THINGS.. HIM A RELATIONSHIP(GAY!) AND ME, WELL WE ALL KNOW THAT DANIELLE JUST WANTS S*X!! AND LOTS OF IT.. AT INAPPROPRIATE TIMES.. BUT HE WILL EVENTUALLY GET OVER IT.. OR I WILL, OR WHATEVER.. LISTENING TO THIS TYPE OF MUSIC MAKES ME MISS CASEY ALL KINDS.. ACTUALLY HIS BIRTHDAY IS COMING UP.. HE IS GONNA BE 30(I THINK) WHICH IS SUPER OLD! BUT WHATEVE.. WELL NOW THAT CK IS OVER AND DUN WITH.. MOVING ON TO MY FUTURE HUSBAND, JEREMY.. HE WILL BE BACK FROM HIS BROS WEDDING THIS WEEKEND, AND HE TEXTED ME TO ASK IF WE COULD HANG THIS WEEKEND.. I WAS ALL LIKE.. HULLO! OF COURSE! SO WE WILL BE CHILLING, MAXING AND RELAXING.. HOPEFULLY ITS NICE AND SUNNY AND WE COULD GO TO THE POOL AND HANG OUT.. I NEED SUN!!
Tuesday, October 2, 2007
lyrics...
SHINY TOY GUNS LYRICS
"Jackie Will Save Me"
Early morning
Summer soul and solace
The world is watching..
Vicious circle
Washing virgin halo
You're in agreement..
You can understand
Enter static
A grey mistake
So you both come crashing over ground
New machines have born their notion
What can i say...you're crazy
Jackie, what's the problem?
You're a lady
You can stop them
Where's your baby?
He's alone...
Kennedy
Your kennedy
All the constant
Super color motion
Burning senses
I think you're slipping
American coca-cola
Sugar sweetness
1963..
Jackie, what's the problem?
You're a lady
You can stop them
Where's your baby?
He's alone...
Kennedy
Your kennedy
You're a lady
Only you can stop them
Where's your baby?
He's alone...
[Thanks to Caitlin Edwards for these lyrics]
SHINY TOY GUNS LYRICS
"Don't Cry Out"
I don't get you . .
I can't forget what you've forgotten
All along
I've never been so alone
[B-section]
Don't Cry Out
Cease Fire
I was pretending
Your secret kiss of confidence
Was my escape
The perfect game to play...
[Chorus]
Ten nine eight and I'm breaking away
I'm all dressed up and I'm ready to play
Seven six five four and I'm all over you
Counting three two one and I'm having fun...
Your fascination
With naked walls of silk and skin
With no conditions
I needed you to notice....
That's all I wanted
[Thanks to Caitlin Edwards for these lyrics]
SHINY TOY GUNS LYRICS
"Waiting"
It's not what you think
If you're thinking I'm a liar
Like falling from grace--
I could do that.
And I'll be waiting all day
And I'll be waiting all day
Summer grey...
It's only
And I'll be waiting all day
It's only
And I'll be waiting all day
It's not what you think
If you're thinking I'm a liar
Like falling from grace--
I could do that.
And I'll be waiting all day
And I'll be waiting all day
Summer grey...
It's only
And I'll be waiting all day
It's only
And I'll be waiting all day
[Thanks to Caitlin Edwards for these lyrics]
"Jackie Will Save Me"
Early morning
Summer soul and solace
The world is watching..
Vicious circle
Washing virgin halo
You're in agreement..
You can understand
Enter static
A grey mistake
So you both come crashing over ground
New machines have born their notion
What can i say...you're crazy
Jackie, what's the problem?
You're a lady
You can stop them
Where's your baby?
He's alone...
Kennedy
Your kennedy
All the constant
Super color motion
Burning senses
I think you're slipping
American coca-cola
Sugar sweetness
1963..
Jackie, what's the problem?
You're a lady
You can stop them
Where's your baby?
He's alone...
Kennedy
Your kennedy
You're a lady
Only you can stop them
Where's your baby?
He's alone...
[Thanks to Caitlin Edwards for these lyrics]
SHINY TOY GUNS LYRICS
"Don't Cry Out"
I don't get you . .
I can't forget what you've forgotten
All along
I've never been so alone
[B-section]
Don't Cry Out
Cease Fire
I was pretending
Your secret kiss of confidence
Was my escape
The perfect game to play...
[Chorus]
Ten nine eight and I'm breaking away
I'm all dressed up and I'm ready to play
Seven six five four and I'm all over you
Counting three two one and I'm having fun...
Your fascination
With naked walls of silk and skin
With no conditions
I needed you to notice....
That's all I wanted
[Thanks to Caitlin Edwards for these lyrics]
SHINY TOY GUNS LYRICS
"Waiting"
It's not what you think
If you're thinking I'm a liar
Like falling from grace--
I could do that.
And I'll be waiting all day
And I'll be waiting all day
Summer grey...
It's only
And I'll be waiting all day
It's only
And I'll be waiting all day
It's not what you think
If you're thinking I'm a liar
Like falling from grace--
I could do that.
And I'll be waiting all day
And I'll be waiting all day
Summer grey...
It's only
And I'll be waiting all day
It's only
And I'll be waiting all day
[Thanks to Caitlin Edwards for these lyrics]
shiny Toy gUns..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jHNjkaBwAH4
Jackie will save me.. one of the best songs I have heard in a really looooooong time!!
Jackie will save me.. one of the best songs I have heard in a really looooooong time!!
Monday, October 1, 2007
FEELING BLUE
FEELING PRETTY down and blue and ugly right now.. just not happy about anything.. I should be happy, I'm healthy, I'm realatively cute.. ect.. But just not generally happy. I reaiily need to get sum booty.. thats what my problem is.. going from a regular diet of it to zilch in a short period of time.. well thats just not happening.. I wonder if CK would get mad if I groveled at davids feet for sex.. I'm thinking he would, plus i want good sex, not bad sex
My illustrious weekend
okies.. so this was my second weekend w/ no ghettod.. But Boy I will tell you! It was absolutely ah-mazing!! I hung out with the clear girl from work on friday. We went to the m0vies and saw Resident evil(yes my 2nd time seeing it!) and then out to eat at carrabas! we had a blast! Then on saturday, I had to work some ot and then I went home and did laundry, cleaned my room and payed my phn bill.. then I went to go hang out with my wifey.. we went to the movies and saw a kick ass movie with viggo mortensen( there was full frontal male nudity in this one!) and then we had some panda express! It was delicious.. watched alot of anime and then woke up early from her house to go out to CG.. hung out with mi familia and then went home.. This weekend i came up on a fan for my room, and some delicious make-it-yourself chi tea! So, my weekend was full and fun and surprisingly, I didn't miss The guy I didn't really know.. Even though I didn't get to hang out with CK, I still had fun.. He did call me on saturday night, but I was in the movies and couldn't answer.. I showed my wifey a picture of him(from his myspace) and she was all like!! OMG!! He is super hot!! He looks like Chad! I told her I know, its totally wicked right?!? But IDK where this is going.. If I don't get some booty soon, I'm gonna have an anurism!! This waiting shit does not do well for my disposition.. I mean On saturday I wanted it so bad while i was at work, that I was totally thinking about calling the guy I didn't really know.. Just to get a quickie in the car somewhere.. I envisioned myself bouncing up and down while he sits in the driver seat.. But then, well then I realized that being that I didn't know him, he may not have liked to do things like that..plus I figured that from what he was telling me, having sex is a distant second to going skating, so I figured he would have choosen to hang out with an inanimate object instead of getting some anyways, and I would have just been left in the same boat.. so, I was better off not being able to contact him anyways( rmember I erased his # from my phn the last time I saw him) So.. In keeping with tradition, I went home sunday night, and helped myself, to myself.. THEN FELL ASLEEP.. I can't believe that i was sooo tired, I was literally in bed asleep by 9pm.. and still didn't want to get up to come in to work today. Which is reAlly wierd.. I didn't even go workout today.. but I will be doing it for the rest of the week..gotta keep the booty looking type! OMG! I keep looking at ck thinking about some of the dirty things he said.. (so filthy) and now I'm just wondering if he is all talk of if he is as dirty as he says.. Sometimes, I wonder if there are people actaully out there as dirty as I am... I'm starting to have reservations.. I just really miss Having someone there to hang out with, I mean don't get me wrong, ck is super awesome, but the connection is weak.. I think its cause of the lack of ..(se*) But he is all hoyier than thou and doesn't want to start someting based on just that.. I'm alright with it, especially since I only have 3yrs and 5 months left.. I mean, he is all cool with my future plans, but the whole 'lets get to know each other before we do it" thing is getting really old.. I'm losing interest here.. FAST! As a matter of fact, I think I will talk to him about it tonite( cause he is always prompt about calling me on mondays at 8pm) to discuss our perilous plight.. I don't think its c=gonna work, I wanted to hang with him cause i wanted to f*ck him, but since that isn't forthcoming, it may not be worth it to be 'just friends" but we will see!
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