continued from ok..

So since i felt as if the invitation was out of pity and not because he REALLY wanted to hang out with me on new years eve( even though we had already made plans to do so) I declined.. I don't want to be taken out on a pity date.. then he won't have fun, and I wont have fun, and the night would have been a huge disaster.. Plus.. how could he think that I would want to hang out with the loser sk8ers that he hangs with.. ok maybe that was a little harsh and wrong.. but HE is the one who wants to party like of nube fratboy.. I wanna party with more sofisticated and probably way more entertaining people.. ok thats a lie to.. I don't wanna really go any where, just hang out in the house by the fire place.. drink some bubbly stuff, and have a really tame time of it actually.. IDK.. I guess I am getting older.. cause I don't want to go out and get completely shit faced just because its new years.. I figure I will just have to spend this new years like I will spend for the next 3 years.. alone, with my computer.. or just alone.. you know, they say that the person you kiss( or in my case are just with) on new years eve, is the person that you will spend the rest of that year with..The crazy part about it, is that I have always found that to be true.. So again, this year.. I shall be by myself.. cause you know, if he really wanted to hang with me for new years, he wouldn't have let my surly attitude stop him from coming out here.. he would just show up, ready to do nothing but hang with me.. But i guess if I were in his shoes, I would rather leave the spoil sport at home too and go out and get really fucking wasted and then watch all of my friends die in a drunk driving accident that i caused cause i figured that i was sober enough to drive but for got( cause i was wasted) the there are other people out there on the road thinking the same thing, but not as sober.. Ok.. maybe I'm a little bitter because I am forgotten in my little corner of the AZ..But its just wrong.. I ALWAYS have to go see those fucking people at their houses.. because mine is to far they say.. but they forget that I have to drive that shit to see them on a regular basis.. so Fuck it.. as of now, I am alienating myself from all those fucktards.. They could care less what happens to me, so as of now, i hope they all go out to their respective new years eve parties and have just a horrible time.. I hope tami gets called a fat whore, and I hope nelda gets dropped by some super cute blond girl.. I hope nene gets shit on by her dude, i hope brandy gets arrested again, and i hope the same for all their friends! and as for BB.. oh, i hope he has the best time in the world.. and then has to watch his friends die because they were drunk and did something stupid.. Fuck this.. its only riling me up more thinking about it.. I should probably be writing my new years resolution.. Well its the same as every year.. Lose weight, lose friends, become a loner, and make enough money to get all the plastic surgery I want.. yup.. here we go with yet another year.. just 3 more to go.. just 3 more to go.. just 3 more to go.. Fuck it.. maybe I will just tap out early.