just a small update!!

So it has been a weird couple of weeks.. I have a new job, but it doesn't start until the 7th of january.. fucking impossible!!But better than nuthing! And this weekend, I am supposed to be going to this super awesome formal holiday party with this guy.. I got a super groovy dress and then we found him a co-ordinating suite to go with it.. he should look like a fine piece of arm candy.. But then he was talking about making it and extremley "WHITE" xmas! Meaning that he wants to do a little nose candy.. I'm not down with that, but if thats what he wants to do... I just don't want him to get all weird n shit if he does it.. maybe I'm putting too much stock into this whole weekend night thing.. Its ok I guess... But well, I'm super nervous about how it will turn out. Plus this whole new development with Brian is kinda perplexing.. I have always said that I would never get back with an ex.. but I have also said that the relationship that he and I had was waaaaay before our time.. It should have been like 2yrs ago instead of 8yrs ago.. But since it happened when we were 19, and now that we are 26, it may be better.. obviously all his cockblocking with his boy sean was because he still likes me.. he even hit on me the last time I was at his house.. something about smoking the bud(pot) that I masturbated with(hypothetically).. I guess its called Goddess bud.. I mean I was flattered and all, but it was kinda cheesey, But lucky for him, I like cheesy pick up lines.. plus.. he is the original blue-eyed god of my dreams.. He ALWAYS gets 1st dibs.. ok maybe not, But He is a super cute guy who makes mulaugh and has a big cock and likes the mary J.. Hes cool and laid back and pretty funny.. but hes not tall like BB, or awkward like BB or as focused on other things.. wait.. now who sounds like a made in heaven match.. How is it that BB is so far from what I want, but I like him the most.. IDK.. I guess though that we shall see how things go tomorrow when I hang out with my Brian.. I'm going to help him pick out an xmas present for his mother.. It should be fun.. I am irritated cause ever since BB moved to his new place, i hear from him less and less.. we have been reduced to texting hi and other such short nonsensical messages.. Now he is texting me about hanging out.. which means he probably wants to break in his new bed.. which I'm ok with.. But still.. one cant but hope for something more.. But my face is still all super broke out.. well not as bad as it was before, but still pretty bad.. I'm not so sad faced to have brian see me like this.. But since BB made a point to say that My bad skin is like the worst.. and that that is the only thing that he would change about me.. I guess That I should be happy.. but it would have to be something that I cant change no matter what.. Lame.. maybe i'm being over sensitive..