OUT OF SIGHT, OUT OF MIND!

stuff that happens in my life.. i spOkE with David last night cause i texted him to ask if he wanted to go shooting.. then i told him he would have to pick one or the other for shooting or dinner at cheesecake factory.. he choose dinner.. i guess we will go shooting weekend after next.. maybe.. but surprise, surprise, he told me that he wanted to dress up for the momentous occasion of eating at ccf.. i was all like why.. but i guess he wants to do it.. that means that i have to dress up too.. it sucks cause i don't really feel like dressing up.. I'm bloated, my face is breaking out and my hair looks like s*it.. but David gets what David wants.. It makes me happy that he thought we were gonna spend all day Saturday together.. but since i HAVE to go out to cg.. ya know.. I asked if he wanted to go, but he said no.. Maybe I'll ask if he wants to go to breakfast on Sunday morning.. that would be cool.. But I'm sure he will be busy.. like usual. now he knows how it feels to want to spend time and the person that you want to spend time with is just busy,busy,busy! I'm sooooo excited to see him tomorrow.. I just hope that my face clears up alot between now and 4pm tomorrow.. I'm wondering if I should suggest getting a movie and hanging at the casa instead of going out.. but I told him that whatever he wanted to do(with in reason) is what we will do.. but I'm worried since I THINK ONLY $100 WILL BE AVAILABLE TO ME THIS WEEKEND.. i HAVE TO TRXFER MONEY INTO MY MOMS ACCT TO PAY FOR THE STORAGE AND THEN PAY VETTE BACK AND THEN PAY MY CELL PHONE BILL AND THEN GET BRAKES AND THEN BUY GROCERIES AND THEN MAKE SURE I HAVE ENOUGH MONEY FOR GAS FOR THE NEXT 2WKS.. PLUS, i WAS PLANNING ON MAKING SURE I SAVED LIKE HALF OF RENT FROM THIS CHECK SO THAT I COULD PAY RENT EARLY.. MAYBE i SHOULD JUST SUCK IT UP AND PAY IT WITH THIS CHECK, THAT WAY i WILL HAVE THE NEXT 2 PAYCHECKS AS ALL MINE.. i WILL HAVE TO CHECK MY PAYDAYS FOR THIS THOUGH.. i MISS DAVID!! i JUST WANT TO HOLD HIM AND LAY AROUND IN BED WITH HIM.. JUST TO HAVE SOME TIME WITH HIM TO DO ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.. BUT HE LIKES TO GO,GO, GO SKATE.. PLUS WE ONLY HAVE A LITTLE TIME LEFT UNTIL HE MOVES BACK WITH HIS MOM.. I DON'T WANT TO RUIN MYSELF OR GET MYSELF IN ANY DEEPER THAN I ALREADY AM.. THAT WAY, WHEN WE STOP SEEING EACH OTHER(AS WILL INEVITABLY WILL HAPPEN SINCE HE IS MOVING TO THE AVENUES)I WONT BE TOO ATTACHED.. HECK..I'M ALREADY TOO ATTACHED AS IT IS.. BUT DRIVING TO THE AVES.. JUST NOT A GOOD THING.. PLUS NOW I UNDERSTAND THE WHOLE THING ABOOT SEAN SAYING THAT HAVING SEX IN THE OLD APT THAT I USED TO LIVE IN WITH MY MOM MADE HIM FEEL LIKE HE WAS STILL IN H.S. cause SERIOUSLY.. DAVID WAS ALL LIKE.. WELL MY MOM WORKS NIGHTS! i WAS LIKE UH-UH!! I'm NOT GONNA SNEAK IN AND SNEAK OUT LIKE WE ARE HIGH SCHOOLERS.. ESPECIALLY AS OLD AS WE ARE.. THAT AND I DON'T THINK I'M QUITE READY TO MEET HIS MOTHER YET.. I THINK IT WOULD JUST BE TOO WEIRD.. ESPECIALLY SINCE WE ARE NOT TOGETHER.. MABYE LIKE AFTER WE HAVE KNOWN EACH OTHER FOR LIKE A YEAR OR SO, THEN I WOULD BE MORE RECEPTIVE TO MEETING HIS PARENTAL UNIT.. BUT NOT SO MUCH RIGHT NOW.. I FIGURE THAT WHAT I WILL DO IS JUST GET A 2ND JOB.. THEN( IF HE DECIDES HE WANTS TO) WE CAN MOVE IN WITH EACH OTHER A WHOLE HECK OF A LOT QUICKER.. UNFORTUNATELY IT WOULD BE INCREDIBLY REDUNDANT FOR ME TO ASK HIM TO GET A SECOND JOB, CAUSE HE HAS TO SKATE.. I WILL JUST CHALK THAT UP TO BEING HIS 2ND JOB.. I MEAN, HE DOES MAKE MONEY FROM DOING IT.. JUST NOT ENOUGH TO LIVE OFF OF.. BUT AS A SECONDARY THAT KEEPS HIM SANE.. I JUST WANT TO TELL HIM TO DOOOOOOO IIIIIIIT!! BUT LIKE I SAid.. WITH HIM MOVING TO HIS MOMMIES, EVEN IF IT IS FOR A SHORT PERIOD OF TIME, WELL LETS JUST SAY THAT I HAVE ADHD.. SO IF HE AINT THERE TO ENTERTAIN ME, OR HE DOESN'T TALK TO ME FOR LIKE A SUPER LOOOOOOOONG TIME ON THE PHONE LIKE EVERY NIGHT( LIKE THAT WILL HAPPEN.. HE DOES NOT LIKE TALKING ON THE PHONE), INTEREST WILL BE LOST AND HE WILL BE REPLACED.. ITS A SAD, SAD THING.. BUT YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY.. OUT OF SIGHT, OUT OF MIND! NOW I WILL RAMBEL ON ABOUT OTHER THINGS.. I THINK I AM FINALLY LOSING MY MIND.. OR BRAIN POWER..