Stagnant? or Lazy?

So this weekend is supposed to be my girl clears' b-day weekend.. But we are all pretty much broke.. That, and to be sure, I'm pretty much done with the whole 'homegirl' thing. I would rather hang with my guys, cause the majority of them don't cause drama.. I notice that when I hang with the boys, I live a relatively drama free life.. but girls.. they bring all the drama..Anywayz.. So My phone got turned off at somepoint during the night, so now, I have no phone.. But its cool, I mean, I should stay in this weekend anyways, I can clean my place and do laundry and just chill and read.. I wish I had gotten the keys to my sensei's house, I could have chilled out there, by myself, with no body but the kitties to keep me company.. But with no phone, I don't have to worry about getting caught up in some stupid girly shit.. That means by going home tonight, with no phone, they have no way of reaching me.. hehehe.. This way, I can spend some seriously needed me time.. and re-center myself.. It kinda suks, cause it looked like last night would have been a night for BB and I to actually get some serious talking done.. But I decided that I wasn't going to be THAT girl. I didn't want to be on the phone all night 'talking'.. hell, I'm so tired of talking right now, I'm ready for action.. either he will take a hint, or move the fuck on!!! Maybe I'm all antsy cause I'm raggin pretty bad.. or it could be that I'm all amped cause Its only 6:18am and I've had 2 bags of m&ms, and I'm starting on my second doubleshot mocha(20oz).. Yup.. its gonna be one of those days.. I'm outa smokes, I 'm outa money.. The next purchase I make, will be for gas to get to work for the rest of the week next week.. I wonder how the new car will hold up with a full tank of midgrade in her..I know that it would probably take about 2 or 3 tanks before a true difference is seen But, it will all work out, I think one of the injectors is clogged, or that there is something up with 3rd gear.. But Now i'm getting all auto-techy on your punk asses.. sooo.. anyways, I was totally all about selling the mazda, and just sticking with thte blue bullet, but now, I'm feeling pretty fucking greedy and I want to keep both.. no place to put them though.. I'm already half parked in the street.. LAME!! But whatever.. I was really blown away by the texing from BB last night.. I could have made a sceen and had one of those nights, But I seriously decided, that I was gonna tamp down on the drama side, and just refuse to create it.. But I really wanted to rip into him.. and all he said was that he missed me.. MISSED ME?!?!?! OMG! RUS?! Missed me? It was a little wierd having him text me that.. So I figured that he was just being a Jokey McJokester with me so I (of course) wrote back in a smartass manner.. Then it was like he got all snippy with me.. so I asked him if he was being serious, and he aske what about.. I told him about all of it.. he said that he was serious about missing me, but not so serious about being snippy.. I said oh, and that was the end of it.. as a matter of fact, the last text I sent was me telling him to have a safe journey to california(the devil state) and the last I recieved was him saying thank-you and that he will.. I guess we shall see how this goes.. cause unless he finds a way to contact me(which shouldn't be to hard)when he gets back, I won't be talking to him.. But he will be gone all weekend anywayz.. what really bites is that I won't be able to get hold of *j*.. so there will be no spking with the perfect man.. which strangely I'm not as broken up about that as I am about not talking to BB..which is sad..Cause *j* deserves so much more sympathy and thought than I give to him.. But I can't help it.. Maybe its cause I'm already fu*king BB and thats why I feel more of a tendre to him.. That and I have trained him so that I get off like 99% of the time that I'm with him.. But I've become really selfconscience lately in regards to being naked.. IDK.. Just not as comfortable now as I was before.. I feel fat and lumpy and can I just say FAT again? Thats really how I feel.. I noticed that BB was picking up some wieght too.. you can totally tell cause his face is starting to fill out.. It actually looks nicer than the super sallow look he had going on.. If he could stay at the weight that he is now.. it would be perfect.. sexy, sexy,sexy,sexy.. I just want to do such dirty things to that boy.. Okies.. Back on track.. But yeah.. so I figure yet again another quiet weekend at home.. It will be nice to not HAVE to be anywhere.. My roomy was supposed to be putting the new laptop in the room, but its not in their yet.. I hope its in tonight, cause I will go crazy without ANY contact to the outside world.. and since I figure I'm not going anywhere unless I KNOW I have to be there, I figure it would be nice to have some sort of communication.. But whatever is whatever.. I guess I will ask my roomy if she has room for 2 more for her Thanksgiving dinner.. Cause I want sensei to come to.. he lost his shit when He saw the roomi.. But its all good.. I hope I did do something nice and hook those 2 up.. it would be cool to know that I'm responsible for those 2's happiness with each other.. But I'm pretty sure it wouldn't happen.. I Miss BB.. The crazy thing is, when I got that msg, I was all extra super excited, and then I started using my brain.. I had to remember that he is a big fibber, and I think that unless he made it a point to tell me that he was being serious, I wouldn't think to much into the sentimental things he says..Cause I would just assume that he is being sarcastic.. God I hope the Laptop is at the house today!! I wanna do stuff.. Vegitate on the computer and watch movies and such.. Maybe do some reading.. *J* Had called me yesterday, But is that the top bulletin on my list? NOPE.. It should be, but its not! I'm still trying to figure out why that is.. IDK.. I need to have male attention this weekend, not female.. Maybe I should just show up at *j*s' house this weekend..Just to be touched by a guy.. But I'm not all that hellfired and damnationed to do that.. I kinda just want to be curled up under BB watching some movie and eating pizza and drinking beer.. Seriously.. That sounds like a blast right now.. I guess you could say that to me, that would constitue an almost perfect weekend.. I probably should just tell him how I feel.. But feelings are faggots.. and I'm most certainly not a fuc*ing faggot.. or maybe I am.. okies.. off to work with me.. hopefully I will be able to update l8er on tonight..or this weekend..