whats the stitch?

So this weekend I got skrewed by buying a really shitty car.. but what eve.. possibly going to have some sex with BB today, but not really sure if I want to..Since he told me that I was to readily acessable to him, I figure that I should just stop seeing him all together.. That way he can't say stupid shit like that.. How could you be so bored with having sex? I mean, I'm not the prettiest, or the sweeteset, but I try my hardest to be the kinkiest.. My sensie says that I should drop the chump and just focus on what I really want, which is *J* Brians roomy( OMG!! Hes such a lil hottie!) Cause after hanging out over there yet AGAIN on sunday, It was alllllll gravy!! I LOVE that boy! He watches football, smokes pot and is an actual full blown engineer!! How sexy is that!?! Plus, the red hair and Blue eyes.. OMG!! I said Goddamn!! I even got a little kissypoo on the neck last night before I left.. OMG!! I love it!! We hung out a watched football, and Brian work and smoked and drank beer and just had a really chill time.. Then He told Brian to continue working and he would walk me to my car.. How sweet!! I think he thought that I was gonna make out with him.. NOT!! This Clear girl don't roll like that! But he hugged me and asked if I wanted to hang out sometime this week! I was like, Yah bitch Yah!! Of COURSE I will make time for you, ya sexy little stud muffin!! So, I will see whats up with that.. actually, I hope I'm to busy to be able to make time for him.. I don't want to make the same mistake with him as I did with BB.. Ya know, by making myself to available.. I still can't believe he said that!! Maybe he is to pussy to man up to the consistency of sex that I need.. I gotta have it regularly.. But I figure if he is more interested in the hunt for it then the actual act, then, I will allow him to continue his quest for that.. I guess for him, the trill of the hunt IS the best part.. I like the actual ACT.. I'm not knocking the hunt, Just the fact that someone would prefer it over regular booty.. Whateve.. Maybe I should just stop seeing him.. I will, once things get a little more on trak with *j*.. It sucks.. BB totally had me.. Would have done anything for him.. Now he has been delegated to Friend status.. Just like Brian.. I will love him to death as a friend, But will never have sex with him again, or attempt a real relationship.. I guess Its more my fault than any, Cause I wanted him to be the agressor and go after me if thats what he wanted, but I forgot that he is not that type of person.. He would rather take things at face value, then read into them like I as a girl would.. He Knows that I am a complicated creature, but refuses to even try to understand.. I want a guy to spoil me as I spoil him, and in doing that, make my will bend to his.. To make me want what he wants, think how he thinks, so that for the majority of the relationship, we act as 1. I've only got 3 years left.. I can't be wasting my time with retards that don't know what they want from me.. and I'm all out of patience to train someone.. But, I'm awfully glad that I got the opportunity to see what its like to train.. I wish I had more time... But we all wish for fish when we live in the stars.. I love BB, I love Brian, I live *j*.. But I don't feel close enough to either of them to change my plans for the future.. I think I liked it better when I DIDN'T have the clear girls.. cause I spend waaaay more money hanging with them, then with my boys.. I'm trying to work as much as possible, so that I won't be able to hang with them much.. Cause I really don't want to spend money on another selfish and ungrateful broad.. If I wanted to do that, I would take care of the child.. I guess I kinda have to go out with them this weekend since it is clears b-day.. i'm buying 1 round or a bottle for predrinking and thats it.. I figure If I by a bottle and everyone gets a shot, then that will be my drink buying limit.. however, I think that I will tell them that I will meet them whereever they are going to be.. that way I wont get stuck..I'm sure I will end up od my ba this next 2 wks.. but I uess ya gotta do, what ya gotta do.. I gotta get at least 1 of the cars legal.. We shall see how this goes.. so I guess there will be sex tonite with BB.. If for nothing else than to relieve stress..