wHAT A BASTARD!!

YES, A BASTARD!! NOW HE JUST FU*CKS WITH MY EMOTIONS! TELLING ME THINGS THAT HE WOULD HAVE DONE TO ME ON THE NIGHT OF MY DRUNKEN RAMPAGE! HOW CRUEL CAN YOU REALLY BE? SO SAD.. ESPECIALLY AS I SHOULD HAVE LEFT THIS MSG TO READ AT HOME, INSTEAD OF FEELING ALL TORTURED AT WORK.. AT LEAST I COULD HAVE HANDLED MYSELF AT HM.. I GUESS I COULD GO TO THE BATHROOM AND HANDLE MYSELF NOW, BUT, THAT JUST DOESN'T SOUND LIKE I WOULD HAVE A VERY GOOD TIME! FUDGECICLES!!! I WILL HAVE TO WRITE MORE LATER, CAUSE NOW JUST ISN'T A GOOD TIME OR PLACE OR WHATEVER TO WRITE ABOUT WHAT I WOULD WANT TO DO TO HIM.................... okies.. so I'm back and this is what i wrote in my myspace blog.. just to clear up confusion!

October 9, 2007 - Tuesday


if this doesn’t turn you on, then you have a really boring sex life..

This is what the sk8er boi wrote me back after our last wrechedly awkard encounter.. yes i contacted him 1st, andi apoplogized for the drunken dialing.. i was looking for that josh guy..but this it what he had to say in regards to my apology.. how HOT is this shit! Exactly what I wanted! its ashame, that 2 such like minded people, can't seem to see eye to eye on, well, really anything.. but i guess, he could just be lying about this too, since he did lie to me the whole time we knew each other about who he was.. But its still hot, and so wrong to have written knowing how i would react to that.. But whateve.. next time, I hope its him who breaks his face.. ok that was a little harsh, and not at all the nice thing to do.. but thats how I feel!

Don't worry about the drunk dialing. It was funny considering you first called my phone looking for "Josh". I was also intoxicated at the time you called and the thought of random drunken violent sex with u got me very turned on...but I knew shouldn't be driving so I had my friend drop me off at my house and I masturbated to the idea of picking u up,fucking u doggystyle in the backseat of my car, pulling your braids, smacking your ass,pulling out and making u drain the cum out of my cock with your lucious lips,and then just dropping u off.
Thanks for the fanasty!


How awesomely fucked up is that! I'm totally down for that shit.. in fact, that is exactly what i wanted that night!! I guess I should just be happy that he decided to think of me to get him off.. I mean, i don't really think of him to get off(at least not him by hisself, usually i'm being double teamed by him and the sexxy man Brian..(so sexxy!))but.. i .. just whatever! I'm just so goddamned frustrated and confused by all this bull shit, i don't even know what to believe, or think anymore.. I wish i could at least cry about it, but that doesn't seem to be apart of my nature anymore.. This confusion makes me depressed.. and I shouldn't be!! I may be possibly getting a new car this weekend, and even going to the greek festival and doing some serious hangin out & scouting for booty! So I have no idea why I'm so goddamned depressed by this shit.. its not as if he was a real looker, or made a bunch of money, or was even relatively a good conversationalist.. so why am I all bajiggity? who knows.. maybe.. you know what? I obviously doesn't even matter what I think.. so.. Fuck it!!

So it would be nice if people actually read my piece of crap blogs and then replied in a forthwith manner, telling me why.. give me some sort of sign that i am not alone in my confusion.. then maybe we could brainstorm some sort of way to come out of this without killing the other person... or ourselves out of frustration.. I think I'm gonna have a heart attack with all this stress.. God! and I thought dealing with t-mobile was bad...