crazy shit..

Ok.. so I may have over done it this weekend.By a lot.. I spent money on bitches who would never do the same for me.. had a whack ass time, and Now, I don't even have enough to cover my fucking rent!! Booo!! Now i HAVE to stay with the fucking crybaby until I get paid again.. unless I pawn some shit, like my pda or mydvd player, or my ipod.. and I don't wanna do that! I want to keep my shit.. Then all these stupid human emotions swirlling about my head.. I love BB, I don't.. Hes a Loser, Hes the coolest guy ever.. Ya know, shit like that! and now I have to cope with the crybaby and her ugky bf making out in front of me late at night.. I think, I'm just gonna go to the casa today, and clear some shit out, then blow up the air mattress and they can have the fucking bedroom, cause honestly, that shit is fucking disgusting.. It literally makes me nauseous to watch them make out.. and its not as if i follow them around, its like they make a point of being where I'm at and doing that godawful shit.. I was like HONESTLY!! you fucking people see each outher aT work.. WTF!?! I guess some people just can be around each other, like all the fucking time.. But truly.. it is disgusting.. Hell, I think its bad enough that I massage BB's feet when I go over.. Hell, it was bad enough, that I couldn't keep up with him for the 1st time in like a year whilst having sex!! How shitty do I feel about that? I was put on the injured list becausse this weekend, I apparently fell in a drunkin stuptor and hurt my arm.. all this on top of spending waaay too much money on bitches who can't help me out of the stupid situation I'm in.. for the next 2 fuckling weeks.. I thought I was going to be able to purchase a new car.. thats a negative will roger.. I thought I was going to be able to do some other shit.. Like( and I know this is super gay!) But I wanted to get BB some shoes for the whip for xmas/b-day.. I think he totally deserves them, mabye its all the super sex i have been getting, or it could just be that it would be my parting gift to him.. OMG!! I'm supposed to be hanging out with BRIAN this week!! how fantabulous is that shit?!? I'm so excited, all I can think about is what I'm going to wear, and how to keep it from smelling like the crybabies house.. Hell, I smell like the casa now! It smells like old ciggys and cat piss.. ewwwww!!So most defiantely not the best.. I had a crazy dream last night that just put the clencher for me.. I dreamt that clear totally screwed me over by taking me out and getting me fucking waSTED, AND THEN LEAVING ME AT HER HOUSE TO GO HANDLE SOME BUSINESS, i FINALLY GOT BACK TO MY CAR, AND FOR SOME REASON WENT TO WORK.. AND FOUND OUT THAT I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE WORKING THAT DAY.. IT WAS WIERD AND I THINK THAT I WILL TAKE HEED OF THE WARNING THAT IS BEING SCREAMED OUT IN MY HEAD AND MY HEART.. CLEAR IS COOL AND ALL, BUT NO MORE OUTTINGS.. FROM NOW ON, I WILL JUST HAVE TO LET THEM KNOW THAT IN ORDER FOR ME TO RECOUP MY LOSSES FOR THIS PAST WEEKEND, I WILL HAVE TO NOT HANG WITH THEM FOR ABOUT 2 OR 3 MONTHS.. THAT WAY I CAN GET CLEAN( FROM ALL THE POT SMOKAGE) AND GET A SECOND JOB.. SO THAT I CAN JUST BE BUSY AT WORK ALL THE FUCKING TIME.. SO YES.. NO MORE 'HANGING' WITH THE CLEAR CROUD.. MUCH TO EXPENSIVE FOR MY TASTES.. bUT i MISS BB SO VERY MUCH.. right now all I want to do is crawl into bed with him and sleep and fuck and eat the day away.. and thats why i know its time for him to go bye-bye.. I'm getting sucked in..